I was all geared and ready to be the best I could be yesterday. Then I had to go to a baseball game for Hannah and I didn't have anything in the house that I could bring for myself. So I had some not so good food. Half a white bread sandwich, some doritos and a vanilla sandwich cookie. I've decided that to be successful at changing your lifestyle, you need to have a well stocked pantry and fridge. Which is something that I didn't have yesterday. It makes it hard to make good choices when there is nothing good to choose from.
This morning I couldn't find my mini blender top. I'm sure the kids put it somewhere when they were putting the dishes away. So instead of a protein shake I had Life cereal with fresh strawberries. Yum. I added a little bit of splenda to the strawberries. I don't think this was so bad of a breakfast, but it wasn't the breakfast of champions either.
I suppose this lifestyle change of mine is going to be a slow process. Working hard everyday to consciously make good, better and best choices. I want to change, so that change will come.
In the past I looked at myself and saw some flaws but thought I wasn't that bad looking. Now as I reflect on the size of clothes that I am wearing, and how I look in photos, I know I could be a better me. Better at choosing food, and better at treating myself with respect and love.
I'm glad I am writing all this down. It helps me to keep my focus. It helps me to be positive with me, and to be my own cheerleader.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Diet Coach
Yesterday I asked my good friend Melissa to be my Diet Coach. She is an amazing person who as tremendous knowledge of nutrition and exercise. She told me that I had the power to change my life. I just had to recognize it and use it. I know I want to change my life and I am so close to that change. I can feel it wanting to burst from every fiber of my being. It's just those first few steps that are holding me back. The fear of something? I don't know what it is that I am afraid of.
Losing my relationship with food? Why not change my relationship with food to a healthy and uplifting thing. Rather then a hurtful and regretful. That is why I inlisted Melissa. She has found that balance. She loves food and enjoys it just as much as I do. But she doesn't abuse it or let it control her.
Losing my relationship with food? Why not change my relationship with food to a healthy and uplifting thing. Rather then a hurtful and regretful. That is why I inlisted Melissa. She has found that balance. She loves food and enjoys it just as much as I do. But she doesn't abuse it or let it control her.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Oh boy, it's been a while
Yes, it has been a while. For a while there I was going strong and thinking I was finally getting my trash together. And then I go and get completely discouraged. Happens, I guess. And with me quite often.
Yesterday something clicked in my brain. I want to be better. I don't want to be treating myself so poorly with food. So I'm not going to anymore. But if I want a stinking little brownie bite after my darn lunch, I'm going to. But I love fruits and veggies and whole grain tortillas and bread. Yummy. I just wish it wasn't so ding dang expensive right now. I feel doubly bad for not even attempting my garden this year. I told a friend of mine that I didn't do a garden this year. Her response was, " Aren't you doing a baby right now?" Yes, I am busy with a baby. And babies are busy little beings.
I feel so much better when I am in control of what I put in my mouth. I realize how important it is to have a food diary. And since I can't find a stinking pen around my house I'll have to start logging it here. All the more incentive to eat better. So here goes, and please stop the gasps right now. I didn't say I had perfected my eating just quite yet!! Sheesh.
Breakfast: 1 cup cottage cheese with 1 beautifully segmented orange
Snack: handful of almonds and sips(okay it was gulps) of diet coke
Lunch: 2 chicken tenders, 2 corn tortillas and a bunch of grapes, nibbles of life crispy squares.
snack: Deli sliced chicken, apple slices, and 3 squares from a tootsie roll, nibbles of life crispy
dinner: slice whole wheat bread w/butter, 1/2 lasagna type dinner(I made it myself), and raspberry jello.
I am still struggling with the nibbling on things. I am still struggling to stick with my certain times to eat. It's normally after lunch that I have this problem. I need to find a way to stop this bad habit. I'm pretty sure it involves water. I need to be drinking water instead of grabbing for something to nibble.
Today I also started to experience the pain in my chest again. Similar to when I was pregnant with Beckham. I know it's all the coke I've been drinking. CRAP!!! I guess I'm just going to have to start taking that out of my daily intake.
Yesterday something clicked in my brain. I want to be better. I don't want to be treating myself so poorly with food. So I'm not going to anymore. But if I want a stinking little brownie bite after my darn lunch, I'm going to. But I love fruits and veggies and whole grain tortillas and bread. Yummy. I just wish it wasn't so ding dang expensive right now. I feel doubly bad for not even attempting my garden this year. I told a friend of mine that I didn't do a garden this year. Her response was, " Aren't you doing a baby right now?" Yes, I am busy with a baby. And babies are busy little beings.
I feel so much better when I am in control of what I put in my mouth. I realize how important it is to have a food diary. And since I can't find a stinking pen around my house I'll have to start logging it here. All the more incentive to eat better. So here goes, and please stop the gasps right now. I didn't say I had perfected my eating just quite yet!! Sheesh.
Breakfast: 1 cup cottage cheese with 1 beautifully segmented orange
Snack: handful of almonds and sips(okay it was gulps) of diet coke
Lunch: 2 chicken tenders, 2 corn tortillas and a bunch of grapes, nibbles of life crispy squares.
snack: Deli sliced chicken, apple slices, and 3 squares from a tootsie roll, nibbles of life crispy
dinner: slice whole wheat bread w/butter, 1/2 lasagna type dinner(I made it myself), and raspberry jello.
I am still struggling with the nibbling on things. I am still struggling to stick with my certain times to eat. It's normally after lunch that I have this problem. I need to find a way to stop this bad habit. I'm pretty sure it involves water. I need to be drinking water instead of grabbing for something to nibble.
Today I also started to experience the pain in my chest again. Similar to when I was pregnant with Beckham. I know it's all the coke I've been drinking. CRAP!!! I guess I'm just going to have to start taking that out of my daily intake.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Progress
With progress comes all sorts of feelings and emotions. I am working so hard at being just a better me. I haven't written in a while and I find that I don't keep myself in check as much. I have stopped consciously dieting. I get too upset with myself. Even when I find success, it's just not enough. So now I am trying to focus on my good parts. My curves, a good butt, great hair (now that it's starting to grow out again), long fingers. I've found that I've been focusing too much on the negative and that the positives have been left behind in the dust. There's obviously good things about me because I do have friends.
I am going to try harder to write more often. This is so different then my other blog. This one is really for me. To help me be a better me.
10 things that I love about today:
It's finally sunny and warm
I worked out HARD this morning
I made it to Park Days and had some good conversations with other women
Grace is still sleeping
Cub Scouts had to be canceled
My mini rose bushes are blooming
I talked with my sister on the phone
The white whispy clouds against a brilliant blue sky
The cool breeze against my sweaty warm skin
I am having good thoughts about life
I am going to try harder to write more often. This is so different then my other blog. This one is really for me. To help me be a better me.
10 things that I love about today:
It's finally sunny and warm
I worked out HARD this morning
I made it to Park Days and had some good conversations with other women
Grace is still sleeping
Cub Scouts had to be canceled
My mini rose bushes are blooming
I talked with my sister on the phone
The white whispy clouds against a brilliant blue sky
The cool breeze against my sweaty warm skin
I am having good thoughts about life
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
My Mii
If you have read my other blog you know that my husband shows his love for me by buying things. Just yesterday in the mail I got my new gift, a Wii Fit game. I was and still am excited about being able to do yoga and strength training!!! But the one thing I HATE, and I don't like using the work hate because it is such a STRONG word, is that the game calls me names!!! Yes, it does!!! As I stood on the balancing board and waited for the stupid thing to weigh me and figure out my BMI my skinny Mii quickly morphed into a FAT Mii and the game proceeded to tell me that I am obese!! Yes, OBESE, stop calling me names!!!!! Yes, I am caring a few, okay maybe more then a few, extra pounds. But I don't believe that I am OBESE!!! When I think of the word obese I think of someone hulled up in their home and can't get up off the coach and walk into the kitchen for a drink of water!!! That's obese. I'm NOT obese, I don't care what that stupid balance board says!!! Yes, I am OVERWEIGHT, but not obese. So after establishing my condition we proceeded to set some goals. Which is pretty cool. I let you know how long it takes for me Not to be that nasty word that I know hate so badly.
Watching Others
It is so hard to watch others succeed at what you can not. It's hard watching other Mom's who have just had babies look skinny again. It's hard to watch your life pass by waiting to attain something that might not be meant for you. So I no longer am going to watch, other people that is. I am going to watch myself, the good, the progress, and the disappointments. There will always be disappointment. Dang, I need to get that new pair of capris and soon.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Random Thoughts
Lately I have made a point to watch Oprah. Tragic as it may be, sometimes she actually has good segments. The last few episodes have been on weight and accepting yourself for who you are. The episode this past friday was about feeling good about yourself Naked. Yes, naked. As these brave women bared it all to millions of people I realized something, I look just like them. I have a body that is not perfect, but it is beautiful. My body has been strong enough to bare 6 children and then even stronger to take care of them. Yes, baring these children has taken it's toll on me. My stomach will never be washboard tight, not that it ever was. My boob will never be perky and saluting the sun as it comes up in the morning. But my stretched marked stomach gave life My now sagging and constantly expanding and draining breast still sustain life. Which is so much more important then me being a size 6. Sure it would be nice, but that wont bring me happiness.
So I am taking the steps to accept myself for who I am at this very moment. A lactating mother of 6, who has the curves to prove it. I am going to go out and purchase clothing that accentuates all my gorgeous curves. Yes, I do fit into clothing that I had before Grace, but their just a little bit too tight and I want something that makes me feel GREAT. I really truly believe that if you feel good in your clothing, you feel GREAT about yourself. And when you feel GREAT about yourself you treat yourself so much better. And besides, summer is starting, I need that boost to get me going.
So I am taking the steps to accept myself for who I am at this very moment. A lactating mother of 6, who has the curves to prove it. I am going to go out and purchase clothing that accentuates all my gorgeous curves. Yes, I do fit into clothing that I had before Grace, but their just a little bit too tight and I want something that makes me feel GREAT. I really truly believe that if you feel good in your clothing, you feel GREAT about yourself. And when you feel GREAT about yourself you treat yourself so much better. And besides, summer is starting, I need that boost to get me going.
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