Surviving the weekend

I have to admit that this weekend was a success. For the most part. The only time I failed on Saturday was at my cousin's wedding. I had a small bowl of some kind of potato soup, half a white roll, and half a whoe wheat roll. I passed on the cookie and chocolates.

My Mom has been such a great support over this last weekend. Only offering me things that are on my okay list of things to eat. It is SO helpful having people to love and support you in such an up and down hill battle.

I feel the winds of change.

Today is my freeday. I pretty much have to force myself to eat chocolate. I thought I would never hear myself say those blessed words. I know that if I don't get it today when I can have it, I will crave it when I can't have it the most. I have been sick all day. Which makes me so excited to start a new week.

The greatest thing about this whole week is that I have lost 3.5lbs. Success is SWEET!!!!

No eating after 7pm

So another day in my first week as a new me. I have thought a lot about this past week and what I have accomplished. Yes, there is still a ton of room for improvement. But you have to start somewhere. I wont be that healthy person over night, or within a week. I am proud of myself for not touching certain things. Yes, I still had a little bit of chocolate. But I didn't go back for a 2nd, 3rd,4th or even a 5th square of chocolate. That proves to me that I have discipline, I have motivation, I respect myself enough to say no.

Last night was a bit rough for me. I ALWAYS get the muchies at around 8pm. So I grabbed a half a protein bar and some almonds. Better then ice cream or pop corn right? Probably not. I know this is one area where I will need to try my hardest to stop eating after 7pm. I know that many people who have success losing weight stop eating after a certain time. This will be a benificial parctice for me to empliment in my daily routine. So, there is one of my goals for next week.

Another hurdle that is quickly approaching is the weekend. I STRUGGLE with the weekend eating. I just want to enjoy that pizza, have ice cream while watching a movie with my husband. But I need to change. Those habits have gotten me to my current self. I don't want that anymore. Bad habits are hard to break. I am going to take my momentum from this week and build on it for the weekend. I have to. Plus, allowing myself one free day is making it a little easier. I just have to make it through Saturday and then I can gorge all I want on Sunday. YES. If Melissa Fossat can look as amazing as she does, and she has a free day, then it's possible.

For dinner, while everyone else ate the scrumptious white bread crust with pepperoni pizza, I ate a pita pizza. I cute a whole wheat pita in half and put just a little motz. cheese on it with about 2 oz of ham. It met my cravings. Although, I did try a sliver of the pizza since I was trying out a new crust.





Breakfast:
Ham and Eggs
1 cup of Chocolate Soy Milk



Snack:
No time for morning snack



Lunch:
Salad at PennyRoyal Cafe
Diet Coke



Snack:
protein bar( I know, I know not the best but it was quick and satisfied my sweet/salty/crunchy craving).
10 manderine orange slices



Dinner:
whole wheat pita pizza, ham and motz. cheese
2 bites of a protein bar(sweet cravings after dinner are a killer for me)
1/2 square of chocolate

4th day, and going strong, sort of

Wow, I've made it a full 4 days. Whimpy, I know. But what a success for me to not be struggling. Usely the first week is a killer. I am so looking forward to my free-day on Sunday. I'm not going to talk about the food, because then I will be tempting myself to cheat. But I do have a few things in mind to eat.

The only thing that is discouraging to me is the addition of exercise. Without fail, the weight loss is always slower when I add exercise. In the recent past, I lose weight dramatically when I just cut back on my eating, and no exercise. But I know how important exercise is to my health and keeping weight off permanantly. So I will continue to trudge along. Besides, it's not just about the weight loss, it's about feeling good about myself. When I don't exercise, I don't feel good about myself.

At about 2:30 a huge craving hit me. What to do. Sit down and write. Why am I craving? Not sure. I always need something right about now. But it's too early to eat anything. Am I just thirsty? I'm not bored, I have plenty to do. Maybe it's my body eating away at my fat stores. Hey, let's go with that.

I wish I could say that I stayed strong and didn't snack on the kids snacks. But unfortunately, I did. I had maybe an 1/8 of a cup of that stupid mix.

Breakfast:

Yogurt

2 bites of a blueberry muffin. Shoot.

Snack:
Protein shake, frozen strawberries, 10 almonds

I was starving after my work out.

Lunch:

Salad with 1oz ham (trying to get in more protein to build muscle)

My very last lean pocket

1/2 inch square of dark chocolate

Snack:
Protein Bar, 1/4 apple

Dinner:
Salad with roasted garbanzo beans
Chili with 1oz cheese
1/2 square of chocolate
1/4 of a protein bar


I need to change something. I don't feel like this is working for me at all. I have done great not eating cookies, ice cream, muffins, chocolate, or candy, pasta, white bread and rice. That is a success and I wish I could focus on that. But I'm finding it hard to do so. Seriously, what you see typed is all that I've eaten. That is the HONEST truth. I guess I need to re-evaluate what I'm eating and incorporate more veggies. I have a hard time coming up with things on my own. I guess my next strategy is to follow a program like Body for Life.

The Biggest Loser

Last night was the start of a new season of Biggest Loser. It's the BIGGEST season ever, people big that is. And they were big. I know that I have some weight to lose, but nothing compared to those poor souls. When they got on the scales and saw their weight in numbers, it was emotional. I cried for those men and women. And I think, in part, I cried for myself. Realizing that weight lose is not going to be easy. It is going to be a hard road, full of sweat and tears, ups and downs. Since we have gotten rid of cable, there is nothing else to watch on the T.V. I am planning on following this season and hoping that I lose weight along with these people. Watching the show is inspiring, and I hope to soak up some of that inspiration and apply it to my own journey.

I am so thankful that I am not as obese as those men and women. I know that I can improve, and that's what my plan is. But I am so glad that I haven't let myself go so far that I can't recognize myself in the mirror.

Busy means something Fast

Again, I didn't find it hard to make good choices. I realize that I am still far from being the healthy person that I want to be. I was super busy this morning. Running here and running there. I didn't have the time to prepare my meals the way I had hoped. So I did my best.





Breakfast:
Ham and eggs





Snack:
protien bar, a diet coke, and a couple bites of an apple





lunch:
Lean Pocket (yet again. it was fast and I was hungry)
steamed edamame, sugar snap peas, carrots, and black beans
1/2 inch peice of dark chocolate

snack:
pinch of cheerios snack mix, pinch of shredded cheese, an apple, 10 almonds

dinner:
ginormous salad w/ green onions, cilantro, red bell pepper, 2oz white cheddar cheese, 3 oz shredded pork and 1 TBL light ranch dressing.
3/4 cup manderine oranges
1/2 inch dark chocolate
crystal light

I realize that there are better choices then the lean pocket. I will try harder to prepare better lunches. But I think we all have those days where we go a hundred miles a minute and just don't have the time. My health and weight loss is important to me. I will get to a place where I can make better choices and have healthier items on hand. I'm still learning and growing at this. I wish it just didn't have to take me year after year, mistake after mistake to learn simple tricks.



Preparing dinner is when I generally have a hard time. I am cooking good food, it smells good, and my tummy rumbles. So what do I do, I snack on the items that I'm cooking. Hench, the pinch of cheese. And I just had to try the new snack I bought for the kids, make sure it was worthy of their taste buds. I'm glad I was able to come and sit down and write down my thoughts. It has refocused me and now I'm just going to drink some crystal light (wal-mart version).

Somthing else I realized as I was documenting my dinner, I need to drink more water. I know that water is key to weight loss. I will try and drink more water tomorrow. I am proud of myself for just having one diet coke today. My goal is to just drink diet coke when out to dinner or lunch.

I dealt with just today, and I think I did pretty good. Still LOTS of room for improvement. I can be better tomorrow.

Dang, here we go AGAIN

January is usually the time when we renew to be better, to do better. This year is no exception. Lately I have felt very discouraged by my weight. This isn't the heaviest I've been, although it's close. The difference is in my body make up. I have fat in places I've never experienced before and it is NOT cool. I feel like I am at the lowest point right now. I'm fine, no worries. I guess sometimes you have to reach the bottom before you realize that enough is enough. Well, I've stinking had it with myself. I'm not with the "snacking" bit. I'm done, done, done, done.

I expressed my concerns with my sister and she suggested that I post what I eat everyday on this blog to become accountable. I've tried that before and I've never been really honest with myself or other people. Well, I guess today is the day that I get real, that I start being honest with myself and others about what I shove in my pie hole everyday. I am commited to my sister to being honest about what I eat and report to her everyday. NO MATTER WHAT, not matter the embarassement or humiliation. I will be honest and true.

I have to admit that the last few days hasn't been hard to eat right. It hasn't been a struggle and I don't hate life. Yes, I realize that it's only been 2 days. Not even 2 full days. But you have to start somewhere. You can only live in the day and today I am doing great. I can look back to yesterday and I have no control over tomorrow. I can do my best in the now.

So here is a run down of what I've eaten so far today:

Breatkfast
1 light and fit dannon yogurt

Lunch
1 ginormous salad with bell pepper and sauted onions, 6 olives, 1 cheese stick(protien)
1 lean pocket
1 frozen garahm cracker sandwich with light cool whip

Snack
15 almonds
1 cheese stick
3/4 cup manderine oranges
1 frozen garahm cracker sandwich with light cool whip.

A few sugar free peppermint life savors

That's it. Not too bad right? Okay, I know. I really need to cut out the garahm cracker thingies. But I remember those only being 1 point according to weight watchers. I have to get my sugar fix in somehow right? Okay, maybe not.

For dinner I plan on having another salad (no cheese), ham, and some cauliflour.

Is it real? Or is it fat?

This morning when I stepped on the scale I found that I had lost a few pounds. I was shocked. So I've stopped nursing, and my appetite has calmed way down. But I really don't feel as if my body is changing all that much. I tried on a pair of my old favorite pants and they fit slightly better. As I was showering the thought struck me, what if I'm not losing weight. What if my body is changing from muscle to fat? Fat weighs less then muscle, right? Could it be true? I think I'm right. I am almost 33 yrs old. My body composition is changing. I have experienced an excess of fat in places that I've never had to worry about. I love getting older. So many things in life get better with age and experience. Take sex for instance. So much better now then when I was first married. But these changes to my body SUCK!!! I am going to really have to start concentrating on exercise and especially my diet.

I look at women who are in their 40's and some of them are gorgeous. You'd never know they were that old. I want to be one of those women. I don't want to have the gut that hangs over, even when I'm standing. I don't want to have relief society arms, nasty.