For the love

That's what I thought to myself when I worked out this morning at 6am, my favorite time to work out. I did the 3rd week on the Biggest Loser work out. HELLO!!!!! It was SO HARD!!! I had sweat dripping off my bangs, into my eyes. Every fiber of my body was sore. My legs are weak, my arms are weak, my neck, my back. I felt weak during the workout. But when it was all over and done, I felt good about what I had just accomplished. Eating is a huge part to losing weight. But dang, there is something to this working out bit. It's motivating, and inspiring and makes me want to finish my day strong.

Free Day

Last week I pretty much had to force myself to eat junk. It was difficult for me, but I knew it needed to be done to help me stay in the right direction. I know, that sounds so backwards. But it worked.

Yesterday, I had no problems eating the junk. It came easy and was welcomed. My day was filled with candy, white bread smothered with butta, more candy, corn dog, and more candy. I made homemade eclairs for dessert and they were divine. I was sad that I missed out on my ice cream. Well, at least I don't have to buy that for my next free day.

By bedtime I was sick, again. But I had NO GUILT!!! And I am ready to move forward today, with the same determination as when I began. I've already worked out, and I can't wait to finish the day strong.



Breakfast:
Protein Shake with frozen strawberries

Snack:
Protein bar

Lunch:
chicken, 1oz cheese, 1/2 apple with 1tsp super crunchy peanut butter

snack:
1/2 banana with 1 tsp peanut butter

dinner:
1 ginormous salad with chicken, sauteed bell pepper and onion a few almonds with 2 TB ranch dressing.


To keep the momentum going I purchased 6 more red bell peppers. They were on sale, 3 for a buck. I also invested in a new salad spinner. Since one of my goals is to eat more salad I better make it good salad.

One of my struggles when I eat big salads like that is I feel as if I am eating too much. It just looks like a LOT of food. I guess this is where counting calories would come in handy. Maybe I will start counting tomorrow. Or maybe not.

Small Victories

So, I went a little crazy with dinner...but it was homemade spring rolls! How could not indulge?

I had plenty of points...and I while I did eat a more than I should have, I didn't go as crazy as I might have in the past.

All in all, a victory.

I did want to share that one thing that has really been helping me is measuring.

Measuring my food makes a huge difference in how much I eat. Even with company tonight, I still got out the measureing cup so I could KNOW exactly how much I was eating.

And, can I just say, it is always amazing to me how much I might have had if I didn't measure!

I am also happy to report that my jeans already feel better. yay. Now if I actually lose some weight, how happy am I going to be?

The Weigh In

I've decided that Sunday mornings are going to be my official weigh in day/morning. It helps me to stay focused Friday and Saturday. Cause I don't want to screw up on Saturday and have to weigh in Sunday morning with that extra food in my belly. That's NO good.

This morning I dropped another 1.5 lbs. That is not earth shattering, but it's a good number. I was hoping for at least 2lbs. When I weighed in on Wednesday I was down 2.5lbs. But I have to go with the number on Sunday. I am still to embarassed to divulge how much I weigh. That will have to wait until the small numbers add up to a bigger one equalling a lesser one.

So now I have to make some new goals for myself. What did I not like about this last week, and what can I do to improve it. I decided that eating sandwiches for lunch is not a good idea. I want to stay away from carbs until I have lost all my weight. Even though the bread was home made and there's nothing to it. I just don't want carbs in grain form, any kind of grain. So instead of the sandwich, I am going to have a ginormous salad. I bought 3 heads of lettuce yesterday and I plan on prepping them tomorrow and having them ready in a bag for me to just grab and eat.

Another goal that I have is to drink more water. I've been drinking a ton of Walmart brand crystal light. I just feel like I need to drink straight water. I will have the juice at lunch and at dinner. I'm also having a hard time kicking Diet Coke. I think that will have to come later. I have been SO good the past two weeks that I am allowing myself a Diet Coke here and there kind of as a reward and to keep myself going.

The last goal that I have is to exercise MORE. I haven't missed a day in two weeks. But some days I only get in a measly 20minutes. I really would love to get in at least 60 minutes. I think I did that just once this week. It is still a priority, I just need to dedicate more time to it. Become more organized.

Now I have to get over the negative talk that I am having with myself. I know the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to do it slowly and steadily. But I want it now!!! So in an effort to boost my moral I am going to list the changes that I have noticed with this 4.5lb weight loss. For one thing, my gut has gone down by half. My muffin top isn't nearly as bad as it was 3 weeks ago. My face seems a little thinner. All the exercise has given me more energy and I feel a little lighter on my feet. Why trade these wonderful things that are happening for the old me. It's not worth it. This is going to be HARD. I am going to have to be PATIENT!!!!

Here's my mantra:

I can do this.
I have the power to change.
I am doing great.
Keep going.

Breakfast is the Key

So, yesterday was an interesting day. I was really hungry and in need of something sweet all day, and I found it very difficult to resist...although I am happy to say that I did...except for the hot chocolate I had last night...which was NOT sweet related so much as I was so FLIPPIN' cold, it was the only way I could think to warm up.

But, I digress.

So, here what I learned yesterday. I HAVE TO start my day with fiber.

For breakfast I had left over pasta salad...which was yummy and only 3 points...but without any real fiber in it, I found myself a little hungry all day.

Also, having had the cheesecake Thursday night, I found that instead of satisfying my sweet tooth, it actually intensified it. So, I am going to try and stay away from sweets...because cravings is NOT a good thing for me.

Also, at some point when I was feeling "hungry," I stopped and had some water and found that I felt better. So I am thinking that maybe I was thirsty...humm.

So, my goal today, is to start with a little fiber and drink...and see how that goes.

I am well within my points for the week. I still have a bunch of weekly points left over too...which is good, because we are having a "nice" dinner tomorrow, and I want to indulge a little.

I think it's going well. It's harder because there is a lot going on emotionally here...and dealing with life and your weight is never an easy thing...but this is the best thing for me and I am happy to be on this path.

Being Tested

Last night after SEP's I just had to have something. Not that they went bad or anything. They actually went really well. So I caved, again, and had a Fiber One bar which contained 140 calories and 4.5 grams of fat. All last night I felt the guilt. Which is something I feel often when I diet. But that's the thing. I'm not trying to diet. I'm trying to change my life, my lifestyle. If I were just maintaining I wouldn't feel so guilty. But I'm trying to lose weight. The thought of failure went through my head. And for a few brief moments thought of quiting popped into my head.

Then came morning, and a new day. Instead of throwing all my hard work out the window, all my determination, all my gusto, I was resolved to be better. Instead, I knew I needed to eat less and better today.

This journey is going to be filled with bumps in the road. I'm sure that no matter how strong I think I am, I will have thoughts of failure eek in.

This time around is different. I feel different. I know I have the power to change. With the help of the Lord, good friends and family supporting me, I KNOW I will achieve this weight loss.

I was tested again today, without knowing it. For some reason, when I am at my Mom's home I tend to eat and eat and eat and eat. With the knowledge that I needed to be really good today, I didn't eat a darn thing while I was there. Okay, she had me try these all natural truffles that were amazing. I hope to get the recipe from her. But I didn't have anything. This was a triumph for me. As I was leaving I had some motz. cheese and a diet coke.

Breakfast:
yogurt

snack:
No snack

lunch:
pulled pork sandwich on home made whole wheat with half a bell pepper.

Yes, I know that pork probably isn't the best for me. But when your on a budget and don't want to waste food. You do what you have to do. Besides, pork is the other white meat.

Snack:
2oz cheese, diet coke

dinner:
whole wheat pita pizza
1/2 fiber one bar

Baby Steps

It's only been two days, but I have never felt better about a diet...I am doing weight watchers, and it is so much easier to be good this time than the last time I did...and I have 10 less points now because I am not nursing.

But i just feel like my attitude has changed. I haven't been hungry. I have been making healthy choices...and I cut myself some slack.

I actually had a yummy piece of cheesecake tonight at book group. But I KNEW it was coming, and I ate really well all day...so that I would have the points available to me to indluge.

It was awesome to treat myself and not feel guilty.

This will probably be totally different next week, but right now I am enjoy the little steps forward.

Plus, tracking my points has really made me think about what I am eating and try to be concious of each and every thing I put into my mouth.

I am enjoying cooking, and everything has been awesome. I made the best chicken and pasta salad for dinner, and one whole cup was only 3 points. I had two servings and I was soooo full when I was done.

I have to say too, it has been super fun to see HOW MUCH I can eat for so little points.

I actually took some of the things that I had been eating and counted up the points for them.

Holy cow...my favorite salad dressing...FOUR points for two tablespoons. Won't be eating that again!

It's good. I want to keep going...I NEED to keep going.