Where's the meat?

That's the question my daughter asked me on Monday. I was making dinner and she was wondering where the meat was. I informed her that you don't have to eat every night for dinner. Before I realized it, we have had 4 vegetarian meals this week. I didn't mean for that to happen it just did. No one complained. I don't think the rest of my kids even noticed that we weren't eating meat. I think the reason it happened was for financial reasons. Meat is expensive. Beans and rice are not. I sure made good use of the beans, and the rice.

I had a revelation today while working out with Melissa. If I just dedicate myself to hard work for 3 months, I could finish losing the weight that keeps haunting me. Just 3 months of being strict and crazy will allow me the freedom that I so much crave. What am I going to do with revelation? I don't know, we'll just have to see. I've always wanted to be a caterpillar in the winter, and emerge in the springtime a beautiful butterfly. Winter great because you can hide so much with sweatshirts and jeans. I want to come out of winter a new person. Is it doable? It sure is. And with Melissa's help she can make my dream a reality. I think she wants this for me more then I want it for myself. She's seen me struggle with my weight ever since we've known each other. She says she invisions me being the person I long to be. Now if I can just invision that for myself. I need to try harder at that technique. I can start asking myself what a 160 woman would do. I think I'll start that technique again, but try even harder to invision myself at that weight.

Oh the potential!!!

breakfast:
yogurt and granola(120)
eggs(95)

snack:
none

lunch:
dos sopes(400)
salad(60)
bite size crunch bar(60)

snack:
a few pices of candy(60)

dinner:
baked potato(500)

total calories consumed:1255

exercise: Tae-bo 45min
calories burned: 400

exercise: strength training 60min
calories burned:400

total calories burned: 800

Changing my life Today

I love it when the Biggest Loser is on. It's such an inspiring show. Last night they were in Washington D.C. I have been there several times to visit my sister. It was exhilarating to watch the contestants compete in places I have been. It made me long to see my sister and visit that amazing city again. Well, I get to see my sister in 3 short weeks. I am thrilled beyond measure.

I digress

During the work-out session that Jillian and Bob did with those average American's Bob said something that was very powerful to me. He said(something to this effect)" Today you are doing something to change your life." That's what it's all about. Taking it one day at a time. Doing your best in just one day. And those days will begin to stack up and soon you'll realize that you've had a month of "good days". Days that have changed your life, moved in the direction towards the person you want so badly to become. A day where you ventured to eat a new vegetable. A day where you decided to push yourself a little harder on the treadmill or on your walk. A day where you decided you were going to run, instead of just walk. Every day we can do something to change our life. What am I going to do today to change my life? Try a new salad recipe and share it with the rest of you.

In my mind a key to my success is learning to love and enjoy salads. There are a million different varieties out there and I want to start incorporating them into my every day life. If we are what we eat, then I want to become a salad.

breakfast:
1/4 cup oatmeal with brown sugar(135)
2 slices turkey bacon(140)

snack:
cottage cheese and mandarine oranges(250)

lunch:
2 sopes (500)

snack:
stinking tootsie rolls(200) Thank heaven's these things are gone!! The rest of the Halloween Candy is going in the Trash!!!!

Dinner:
stuffed bell pepper with white beans and rice
a delicious salad with a orange vinaigrette(recipe to the left)

Still sabotaging

Today has been a much better day. It started out at the gym. I warmed up on the treadmill for a measly 5 minutes. Then it was off to Tae-Bo. I was sad to find out that the instructor is moving or something because she's not going to be here for much longer. Sad. I really liked her 2 years ago when I went to her class. Any-hoo. Her class was super tough this morning. We did reps of 100 for a lot of different exercises and it was not easy. Towards the end of the work out, when we were already tired, she had us doing burpees. If you don't know what those are, let me describe it to you. You do a squat touching your hands to the floor, you jump back into a push-up position, jump back to the squat position and stand back up. Ya, it's tough. I don't know how many we did but as I looked around me and watched myself in the mirror I realized that I was one of only a handful of women that was still doing them. Ya for the fat girl!!! I did have to take a slight rest, but then jumped right back into it. I was so excited that I could keep up. It was very empowering to me. I was super red in the face, unlike some of the women, but I knew I was working hard. And it felt AWESOME!!! I can't wait to go back on Thursday.

As I was walking to my car I was flooded with feelings of disappointment and discouragment. Funny how a woman's mind works. First feelings of accomplishment, then thoughts of failure quickly take over. I kept thinking how my eating is sabotaging me. I am still working my rear end off with Melissa. It's not quite as intense since she's pregnant and not feeling good. But still, I'm working hard. If I could just get my eating in sync with my exercise I would be one lean mean, sexy fighting machine!!!

It still is so frustrating to me that food has such a hold on my life. That satan has such a grasp on me. It just doesn't seem fair. But life isn't suppose to be fair. We all have our struggles, and like I've mentioned before, this is mine.

I did have a much better eating day today. I still snacked on the Halloween candy, but just the tootsie rolls. Yes, it's still empty calories, but not as much fat. I put the bowl in the pantry. Thank goodness most of the good stuff is gone. That didn't take long at all.

I decided that I am going to follow the Body for Life eating program. It's simple, straight forward and I've had success with it before. You have a portion of protien, a portion of carb, a veggie with lunch and dinner and the best part, I get to eat every 2-3 hours. I'm better at grazing. I hope switching to this program will work for me. I don't want to be bogged down by my eating any longer. It's no fun. I want all my exercise to finally start paying off. If I'd just stick to a good eating program the fat would just start melting away. Ya right. Not with my luck. It's still worth a shot!!

breakfast:
2 slices toast(180)
breakfast drink(260)

lunch:
chicken sandwich(380)
a few baked lays(100)

snack:
tootsie rolls(200 a guess)

dinner:
7 layer bean dip(400)
8 tortilla chips(150)

total calories:1580(whoops)



exercise: tae-bo 45 minutes
calories burned: 350

exercise: core work out 60 minutes
calories burned: 300

Say Hello to Temptation

This is what's staring me in the face today!!! Two huge bowls of freaking Halloween Candy. I can just feel my gut getting bigger as I sit here just looking at it. It makes my drive to be a strong woman, stronger. I can't let this shiz hold me back from my potential. It's easy to say that in the morning and after you've had a weekend of no control. But what am I going to feel like after lunch when my hunger for something sweet hits me? Am I going to allow myself a small piece? Or will that small piece turn into 3 or 4 or 5 or possibly more? So do I just not put a single piece of wretched candy in my mouth? That seems to be the right answer. Melissa always tells me to look at candy as the most disgusting thing on the earth, repulsive, nasty, vomitus. Not just candy, but other items that can cause your health to go out the window. You know what I'm talking about, chips, white bread, frozen burritos, you get the idea. When you think of those things as repulsive it should be easy. I haven't used this technique yet, but I think I might start today. Candy is NOT good, it is NOT my friend and will only cause me anger and frustration and a front butt and a bedonkedonk butt. No thank you.

I wasn't strong enough to resist the Temptation. But like Dr. Oz says, make an immediate U-turn and start going in the right direction. So that's what I'm doing. I messed up, but I'm not going to ruin the rest of the day. I'm putting the candy way up high in my pantry and shutting the door. I put a piece of gum in my mouth and filled a large cup with ice water. I'm not going to progress if I keep making these mistakes. But I refuse to beat myself up over it. That's counterproductive as well. I'm just taking that U-turn and going to finish the day off the right way.

I failed miserably today. It sucked. I never took that U-turn. I never put the candy up.

It has to change tomorrow. I hate how my clothes are beginning to get snug again. That's bad that's really really bad.

Hopefully a morning at the gym will kick start me into some eating well. Let's cross our fingers

breakfast:
cottage cheese and mandarine oranges
2 slices turkey bacon

lunch:
1 corn quesadilla
1 cup cabbage soup

snack:
more cottage cheese and mandarine oranges

dinner:
home made white beans in a tortilla
1/4 cup applesauce.

plus grazing on candy all day long. If I could have stopped the grazing, I would have had a decent day. Yes, i still need more veggies in my diet. More prayers are needed.

It's more then just weight loss

I've been thinking a lot about the things that I choose to put into my mouth and it effects me and will effect me in the future. Right now, those effects are stronger then weight loss. Over time the wrong foods that I put into my mouth will cause gradual weight gain for the rest of my life, if I'm not careful. Its SO important that I get a handle on my diet NOW. And not just to lose weight, but to stay as healthy as an ox when I'm 80!!! I wont be able to eat mini candy bars every day for the rest of my life and expect to function properly.

It's just another element to the Fight, isn't it? I'm fighting for my older self. I'm fighting for the mother of Teenagers, to keep up with them, to win my battles with them. I'm fighting for the Grandmother that I will someday be. I want to have the energy and strength to care for those wee ones, to give my daughters and daughters-n-law a break that I know they will need.

Is that strange that I'm thinking about that? I've never been one to look to far into the future because of fear. But I have to. I have to work hard now to help me be the person I want to be n the future. By doing this the future becomes less scary and more exciting.

breakfast:
bacon and eggs(210)
1/4 cup granola(80)

snack:
none

lunch:
sticky chicken salad(550)

snack:
1/2 serving of yogurt(45)
1/4 cup of granola(60)

dinner:
3 oz turkey(90)
1/2 cup butternut squash soup(60)
1/4 cup applesauce(30)

snack:
nibbled on caramel corn(darn that special someone that booed my house. i guess they never got the memo I was trying to be good and am not strong enough to resist temptation) (200)

total calories :1325

exercise: ran/walked for 40 minutes
calories burned: 350

exercise: lifting weights 55 minutes
calories burned: 400

Curse of the Carb Gut

It's always interesting to me how people gain or lose their weight. Some people lose it in their butts or gain it there. Some people in their breasteses, or thighs. For me it's in my gut. And I hate it!!! If you gain weight in your butt no one really notices, until you turn around. But the gut is right in the front and is one of the first things people notice. When I gain weight, it's in my gut. I guess it's a good thing that it comes off little bits at a time. I would just rather have my weight gain somewhere other then my gut. I hate having a front butt, it's so disgusting. But I'm working on it. Yesterday was a good day. If I can remember what I ate. Thinking, thinking, thinking. Oh ya, shake for breakfast, quesadilla and cabbage soup for lunch, snack (not so good) york peppermint patty, and for dinner butternut squash soup with croutons. I could have done without the croutons, but there was nothing to the soup but veggies and broth. It's an amazing recipe and so ding dang good for you. Just like the cabbage soup. Nothing but veggies and broth. I hope that by eating cabbage soup before lunch, and a salad before dinner that will help to get rid of my dreaded carb gut. It's good that I am writing today because this day hasn't started out so well for me. I get in such a hurry and too busy and it's so easy to make wrong choices. It's seems like the wrong choices, when it comes to food, are more often then not the easy ones. The mini candy bars sitting on the counter from last night. Ya, that's what I've been snacking on today. I'm going to do better today. My gut isn't going to go anywhere unless I stop these dreaded old habits of mine.

Yesterday was a great day of exercise. I made it to the gym again and ran for 3 miles. I stopped a few times, but it felt so good to get 3 miles under my belt again. I can feel it working in my whole body. My back, my core and my legs. It's different running on a treadmill. I prefer the out of doors. But this will have to due for the winter months. After going to the gym i went and worked out with Melissa as well. It was a great day of work outs.

Not so much today. I had a super late night last night and I just couldn't get myself up. I should have. But I didn't. I was going to work out at 9am but things just didn't work out like I planned them to be. And that's how life is sometimes. Which is a stronger reason for me to be extra careful with what I put in my mouth. Careful, careful. But I'm not going to beat myself up over tiny mistakes.

breakfast:
1/2 serving of yogurt (45)
1/4 home made granola(60)

snack:
this is a killer 4 mini candy bars(200) ouch, that hurts. I'm just guessing on those calores too.

lunch:
tres sopes(amazing!!!)(600)

snack:
no snack, too full from lunch

dinner:
2 oz turkey breast(65)
3/4 cup cabbage soup(30)
1/4 cup potatoes(30)

snack:
home made granola(100)

calories:1040. I don't think this is correct. I think I ate way more calories then this.

exercise: None

Gym Rats

Hello again, to all two of my readers. Yes, you Sally and you Liz. I'm back. And in more way then one. This morning I actually made it to the gym again since getting preggers with Grace. I stopped going to the gym when I started getting really sick, okay that's a lie. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. At that point, I was done with the gym. My father in law got me another pass for Christmas. There was some fear associated with the pass, not sure what it was. Yes, I do actually. It's commitment. Once I go to the gym again I'm committed to myself to keep fighting this fight of mine. Am I completely ready to jump back on the wagon again? No. But I am ready to keep my runners body, if that's what you want to call it. I have no runners body, but I do enjoy running. I never thought I'd miss running, but I do. That fact is the driving force behind the gym pass. I don't want to start from scratch again come spring. I want to be better, be faster, and let's face it, just plain improve. But I was scared of the gym. I wasn't surprised to see a few familiar faces when I walked in. People that were there when I was consistently going 2 years ago. But just a handful. I think we call these people gym rats. Did they look any different? Not really. Some were a little musclier, maybe a littel thinner. But kudos to them. They are living the life that I am striving for. Having body and health a priority. I don't want to become a gym rat. I just want to keep motivated to keep my body moving and improve upon my level of fitness and healthiness.

I realized over the last 3 weeks that I'm not done. I'm not done losing weight. I just needed to take a break. I'm not going to be as strict with myself. But I am going to count calories. That is a must for me. It will keep me on track and keep me focused. But don't be surprised if you see "unauthorized" foods. I'm still going to live my life, just withing in reason.

breakfast:
2 slices turkey bacon (140)
1 small slice of apple bread (okay it's was cake. but who wants to admit to eating "cake" for breakfast? Not me!!!)(120)

lunch:
1 corn quesadilla(100)
3/4 pear(45)
1/2 piece of apple cake(60)
diet coke(gotta have my diet coke!!)

snack:
1 banana(60)
1 tablespoon fruit dip(I had to make sure it was good for tomorrow)(90)

dinner:
3/4 cup beef enchillada casserole(300)
1/4 cup green beans (10)
1/4 cup applesauce(45)

fhe snack:
1/4 caramel popcorn ball (90)

total calories: 1060

exercise: 30 minutes on treadmill
calories burned: 365