Deceitful Photos

Just when I think I am looking good, I get a glimse of me on film. Yes, I'm talking about ding dang photos. Why does the camera have to add 10 pounds? I don't feel like it adds just 10 pounds, but a hundred.

I really envy those people who lose weight in their faces first. That is the most noticable of all places to loose weight. I think that is the LAST place I lose weight. Even when I was thin for 5 seconds of my life I still had checks that drowned out my eyes when I smile.

All the more motivation to keep doing what I'm doing.

I struggled on my vacation to Disneyland. I did my best. The car ride was the worst. What was I thinking bringing along a whole shoe box full of candy bars. DUH!!! That totally spells out sabotage!!! Can't look back now can I? I just have to make a U-turn and start over. All is not lost, right?

Finally making some progress

Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since I started over again on my weight loss journey. I am happy to announce that I am actually having success. I haven't beaten myself up, I don't hate the food or have to gag it down. I'm not hungry. This strategy is working brilliantly for me. I have lost 7 pounds. I am now at the weight I was when I abandoned Absolute. I am thrilled that I have found a happy medium in my life. It feels so much better to treat myself with love and respect. It feels great not to deny myself of pretty much anything. Moderation has been the key for me. I hope to stick with this way of life.

I think it also helps that I have found success in prayer. Having a relationship with My Heavenly Father has been so important. Just this morning after stepping on the scale I realized that prayer is actually working. Small and simple steps.

< 180

I have crossed the threshold! I am now less than 180 pounds!

I really can't believe it. It's so fun to be getting smaller and smaller. Ed weighed himself on Friday and he was 175 pounds. I'm 178. I have 4 more pounds to lose before I'm less than him. This hasn't happened since 1997- over 11 years ago.

My new goal is to lose 13 more pounds before we go to Disneyland in October. I have a little over 4 weeks and that would put me at 165.

Who knew my efforts would finally work? I had my doubts but now I'm so grateful.

Here we go again

Man, this whole striving to lose weight gig is the biggest yo-yo of my life. It sure comes with it' s major, and I mean MAJOR, ups and downs. Since I've gained back ALL of my weight with Absolute I decided to get back on the band wagon. I'm hoping this time it will last longer.

In the past few weeks I came to realize something that I have never realized before. That is, losing weight is a righteous desire. We can supplicate to the Lord with any righteous desire and he will help us achieve that goal. I always thought that wanting to lose weight was vane and prideful and selfish. But is over indulgence a sin or a righteous desire? Uh, duh, it's a sin. I no longer want to be sick and afflicted with the food that I feed my emptiness. I want to have a good quality of life.

Yes, I have struggled with prayer before. And it wasn't until this last Education Week and struggles that I had with my silly cub scout calling did I realize the power in prayer. So I am now using it to my advantage and realize, that yes, losing weight is something that I can total pray to my Heavenly Father for help. Through prayer, something else is starting to happen, my emptiness is starting to be filled. Filled with gratitude, love and a change of heart.

Gratitude is something that I need more in my life. To remind me of how good I actually have it. So I started yet another blog. This time, to write down once a day something that I am grateful for. I am doing it to keep me in check. This is the sight.

Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming

I've been swimming laps in the morning for 2 months now (at 6:30 a.m. nonetheless) and I love it. It's the only kind of exercise I get out of bed for. I'm trying to work up to swim a mile. I'm doing about 1/2 mile right now.

Next month, I've switched my lane time to 8 a.m. Amberlyn and I are going to switch babysitting the younger ones so we can do it (sort of ) together. I'm looking forward to the extra 1/2 hour of sleep and I'm excited for Amberlyn to try it.

Another random type of exercise I tried last week is a Hip Hop Dance class at the gym. So Fun! I'm hooked. The thing is that it tricks my mind and body into thinking it's dancing instead of exercise. And I've always felt bad for not making the Northwest High School Honey Bears squad so this is my chance to dance my heart out! As long as I don't glance in the mirrors- I'm good.

Ferocious

About two nights ago my appetite turned ferocious and I could not tame it. No matter what I ate, I was still hungry. Yesterday was a terrible day. I ate and ate and ate and never felt satisfied. What is up with that? As I thought a little more about this, I made a connection. I started to eat more as soon as I realized that it was my turn to conduct Cub Scouts. Is that the silliest thing you've ever heard? I thought about it all day yesterday and to calm my nerves I fed them food. I soooo do not need this in my life. I have had this calling for almost 2 years. It is a very stressful calling in a ward that is over 55% children. I am done. I hate what it is doing to me physically and mentally. I am going to ask to be released this Sunday. I have never in my whole life done this before. But I feel it is vital for my well being. I hate feeling this way about a calling, but it is what it is. What would you do if you had a calling that effected you this way?

Ever felt this way?

Since I have been an exercising fiend lately I was excited to step on the scales. I can sort of tell my stomach has gone down a little bit, yeah for me. So I was feeling pretty encourage. I stepped on the scale and the exact opposite happened. I so hate that. You work and work and work so hard to attain a little bit of success and it isn't even supported by the stupid scale.
Melissa tells me over and over again that weight loss is 80% diet. Screw dieting. I hate dieting. Why can't I see a difference with the small and simple changes that I've made in my life. I am making much better choices and I have cut out diet coke. Hello!!!!!!!! I haven't even replaced that with chocolate. I know I need to work harder at improving my eating. But come on, I need a little encouragement here. Can't the scale cooperate with me just this ONE time!!!
My solution is to continue to work out to the max. Run, walk, 10 minute dealio thing, 60 minutes every tuesday with Melissa. Someday it will begin to fall off. Till then, you get to continue hear me complain and mope and groan about how stinking hard it is, and how unfair it is.