3 miles

Yesterday I went out for a jog. I was so excited to be able to jog for 3 miles. I knew I could do it and thought I pushed myself harder then the last time. Well, I jumped in the suburban and clocked how far I went. What a disappointment. I went the same distance as last time. Maybe .1 more then last time. So this evening I was bound and determined to run 3 miles. I'm pretty darn sure I did. I didn't clock it, I'll be sure and do that in the morning. But I ran the same distance as last time, plus some. In addition to running, I worked out my lower body with Melissa this morning. I am FREAKING sore!!! I can hard go up and down the stairs. I know tomorrow is going to be worse. But it needs to feel like this. My body isn't going to change much without the hurt. Like the old adage "No Pain, No Gain."

This evening I also indulged myself in the Biggest Loser. I was inspired by Tara this time. She struggles with the same feelings that I have had in the past. I know there is a reason why I gained weight, but I could never put my finger on what that problem was. I'm still not quite sure what that was. But it has a lot to do with my feelings of worthiness. I am worth all this hard work. I am worth living for. It's okay to do this for myself. To be healthy, to set a good example for my kids and family. I think I also struggled with being a Mom. It's tough. And being a Mom of 6 can be super overwhelming at times. But I know the Lord never would have put those precious children in my hands if he knew I couldn't do it. He knows I can do it, and that gives me strength. And I need to be strong and healthy to keep up with my spirited children.

I was going to stop logging my eating and exercising. But one of the tips this evening was to document how many calories you intake, and how many you burn. It's a simple mathmatical equation that is "suppose" to work. I think I'm going to cease on the calorie counting for a few weeks. It's felt so good no to have to worry about those numbers. Instead, I'm going to focus on the fun numbers. The numbers that I burned. The numbers that are no longer holding onto my body. That being the calories I burned while exercising.

exercise: Weight Training with Melissa
duration: 45 minutes
calories burned:367

exercise: Jogging
duration: 3 miles, not sure how long it took me. I didn't have a watch on. I'll say 35 minutes
calories burned:428

total calories burned: 795

NO WAY!!!! I am no longer Obese. Just Overweight!!!

I have stuck to my promise of weighing myself on Wednesday and Sunday mornings. I really didn't want to get on the scale. It hasn't been the best of weeks for me. Both eating and exercising. I wasn't out of control with my eating, it just wasn't great. I had such a busy busy week that I didn't get the chance to work out twice a day like I have been. But I knew that I needed to keep myself in check. When I stepped on the scale I was shocked to see that I had lost 2lbs!!!! Wow!!! So then I decided to take it a little further and pulled out the Wii fit board and the Wii Fit game to see what it told me. Even better results. It told me that I had lost 4lbs from the last time I stepped on it and I am no longer Obese. I am now just overweight and below 180!!! Just barely, but I am below it.

What a huge triumph for me!!! With this weigh in today that brings my total weight loss up to 20lbs. How exciting is that!!!??? Yay for me!!! It's working, it really is working!!! The scale loves me, it really does love me. At least for today it does.

I still have some big goals to reach. I still need to lose 19 more lbs. That is to get to my original goal of 160. Maybe once I get to 160 I will make another goal of 150. For right now, I'm shooting for 160. In the past I have set goals that just seemed unreachable for me. 150 is one of those numbers that just seems out of my league. But I might change my mind when I get to 160. We'll see.

I am still constantly changing my strategy what seems like every two weeks. This week I am going to do the fast start strategy from Absolute. This is where you just eat meats and raw veggies for 3 days. At 10am and 2pm you can have a fruit. I couldn't do this method last year due to the fact that I was still nursing. Now that nursing is done with, I am so excited to do this for 3 days. I can do anything for just 3 days. It'll be easy. I'll just make some yummy raw salsas to go ontop of shredded beef and chicken. Yum. And it's just for 3 stinking days. It's going to be GREAT!!!!

I was running!!!!!

Yesterday after Brent got home from work I thought I'd go for a run. Not a walk/run, but a run. Now, I don't run fast at all so I guess it can't even be considered a run. More like a jog. I have been inspired by the Biggest Loser, once again. I just couldn't believe that they ran 13 miles, a half marathon. And most of them were still 200lbs or more. Wow, that is incredible. Yesterday was the first chance I've had since then to see how far I could run without stopping. Although my time was limited I did the best with the time that I had. I ran and ran and ran and listened and listened and listened to my ipod shuffle. Thank heaven's for that little invention. I was so proud of myself. I wasn't sure how far I had run, I just new that I could have gone longer if the time had permitted.

This morning I jumped in the suburban and tracked how far it was that I had run. I was so surprised when the odometer read 2.5 miles. And I could have ran farther if time had permitted. Last week I decided that I am going to run a 5k every month from May to September. A 5k is obviously only 3 miles. So I am well on my way to making this a successful summer for me. I look forward to training, running fartlicks, increasing my time, collecting T-shirts and running with friends.

This is more proof to myself that I am stronger then I ever imagined I was.

Standing on the Precipice

Here I stand, at the precipice of change. Am I ready to continue with my commitment? Am I ready to go where I haven't been in a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time? Right now I am just a few pounds away from my pre-Grace days. That weight is a weight that I've been at since Beckham's been 18 months old. I never seemed to make it below that. Okay, maybe less by 3 or 4 lbs. But the clothes that I am wearing now are clothes I can fit in comfortably and have been comfortable in them for years. Am I ready to go outside of my comfort zone? Am I ready to work harder, move faster, eat healthier then I have in a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time? How strong is my desire? How strong am I really? Stronger then I think I am. I am ready to move forward. I am ready to not let anything get in my way!!! Not even myself. The last time I tried this losing weight gig it took me from January to July to lose the weight that has taken me just 2.5 months to lose this go around. I refuse to be complacent. I refuse to be comfortable at this weight. I know that I can do better, be better. The future is exciting for me now. What will July bring for me? How much weight will I lose by then? How much stronger will my body be? How much trimmer will I be? How much farther will I be able to run? How much more energy will I have? How much more in love with veggies will I be? See? The future is exciting and this is the first time that I have realized that the future can be exciting. Change is fabulous. Change is hard, but it is so worth crossing that precipice into a new me.

It's going to happen. I can still feel that desire pulsing through my veins. What an exhilerating and uplifting feeling.

Cravings

Will they ever end? Will there ever be a day when I don't have any kind of cravings? I guess the only kind of cravings that I would want in my life right now are for veggies. I do remember having cravings for veggies right after I had Grace. All I wanted were carrots, celery and pickles dipped in a little bit of Ranch. Then my milk really came in and my appetite was as ferocious as a lion and the only cravings that I had were for cookies. Any kind of cookies I could get my hands on.

Lately my cravings have been for ice cream, in the evenings. Yikes. Eating ice cream in the evenings is one of those bad habits that got me into the situation I find myself in currently. Struggling to lose some extra poundage.

So what do I do to curb those cravings. I don't want to eat after dinner. But lately I feel like I have been starved all day long. I guess once I get into the no carbs after 4pm and am truly strict with it the cravings will disappear.

I keep trying to tell myself that I have just today to get through. Then tomorrow is my free day and I can eat what ever I want. I'm telling you, tomorrow can't come soon enough.

A new approach to getting rid of the Front Butt!!!

I realize that it's only been just a few hours since I last posted. But I am already starting to feel better about myself. I haven't written anything down yet. I can just feel my body and mind changing. We all go through highs and lows in our weight loss journey's. Thank goodness for the highs. They give me the extra strength that I need to push forward. I find that I am bounding up the stairs a little more quicker. I feel my body getting a little tighter, thanks to circuit training with Melissa.

I have found a new method of eating. Melissa told me about it and I read the article and I am SUPER excited to apply it to my daily life. You can have two carbs a day, one at breakfast and one at lunch. After 4pm you have no carbs what so ever. You should also try and split up your protein through out the day. For women, you should get about 100 grams a day. Ask Amy Huhtala about this, she knows it works. That's why she's 60+ lbs lighter. The one reason this approach is so appealing to me is that I still get to have carbs and fruits in my day. Halleluiah!!! A program I know I could stick to for the rest of my life!!! Plus I am desperate to get rid of my front butt, and this program is suppose to help with that. I dont' want a front butt any more. I didn't wait until monday to impliment this way of eating. I started Tuesday night and I can already tell a difference. Not eating carbs after 4pm I think is going to be key to getting rid of that dreaded front butt. BE GONE FRONT BUTT!!!!! You are no longer welcome in my life!!!!

b:
protein bar

l:
1/2 carne asada burrito

s:
protein bar

It's all in your head

I have heard over and over that weight loss is more then just a healthy diet and exercise. More then likely there is always an underlying reason for your obesity. Today I think I discovered maybe what mine might be. The reason behind my weight loss failures. I know that I have the will power to stick to this diet, I've done it for 2.5 months. It's my thoughts that are keeping me from being the person that I want to be. Physically, mentally and spiritually. I am so hard on myself and focus on the negative. I use to think that I was a pretty happy person. I guess that's true when it comes to other people. But when it comes to myself, I struggle with accepting my talents or gifts and giving myself credit for all my hard work. I feel as though I am being prideful or full of myself if I concede to all the good things that I do. But that's not what our Heavenly Father wants us to do. I shouldn't be hiding my light under a bushel. I should be letting my light, and sharing myself and talents with those around me. I should accept the fact that I have been working hard at losing weight and I am doing a great job. I am way to hard on myself.

What am I going to do about this mental problem that I have? The first thing that came to mind was to write down every morning, or read what I've written all the good qualities that I posses and include those qualities that I would love to gain to be the person that I want to be.

I know that this might sound like a problem that everyone might struggle with. But for me, I realize that it's keeping me back. Like I said before, my negative self talk is preventing me from being the person that I would love to be.

I need to stop putting myself down. I need to accept compliments. I need to accept the truth. What is the truth? That is something else that I need to search for as well.

The truth. Sometimes it can hurt. And somethimes it can be liberating.

b:
1/2 cup oatmeal
1 tsp butter
2 tsp brown sugar
eggs and bacon

s:
protein bar

l:
pita chips with white bean dip
veggie tray

s:
protein bar

d:
sauted chicken, bell peppers and onions.