Spiritual Gifts

So we talked about spiritual gifts on Sunday but the lesson was focused on things like speaking in tounges and raising the dead...worthy gifts, but not ones that I am really in need of at this point in my life.

What I wished we had talked about was more practical spiritual gifts and how we find and cultivate those gifts in our own lives.

And what I kept coming back to, time and time again, was that the spiritual gifts that I need in my life, and that would do the most good, are the little things that might not even seem like gifts to other people.

I need to know who I am. I need to know that Heavenly Father loves me and values me as a daughter. I don't have an easy realtionship with my earthly father. I love him and he loves me, but we don't talk, and I don't turn to him when I need advice or counsel. I wish I did. But what I am realizing is that this relationship has affected the one I have with my Heavenly Father. So, I don't turn to him and seek His advice like I should.

So, there's another gift. The gift of prayer and getting answers to prayers. I have to say that I have made great strides in this area of my life and am really starting to recognize the spirit and the Lord's hand in my life, but it takes a lot of work for me to see it!

I think another gift that I could really use is balance. I am an all or nothing kind of person. I am hot or I am cold, but never warm! So when I do something, I do it with all I have and give all I've got, otherwise I just don't do it.

Well, that's all well and good, but there are a lot of things in life that require moderation, and most things are good, in small doses. But I don't know how to do that yet.

So, I guess what I am saying is that when we look for our spiritual gifts we shouldn't overlook the little ones. I think it is the little things that help us get where we are supposed to go, or keep us from ever getting there at all.

So how do we seek these things? How do we find them in ourselves? How do we know? How do you know?

A Challenge

So Denise just challenged me to read the Conference Edition of the Ensign from Cover to Cover. I am taking this challenge on. I really do feel as if my spiritual life is in balance then the rest of my life will fall into place. Food wont be so overwhelming, my desire and finding time to exercise will increase. I know I will be more patient with my husband and children. And don't we all need more patience?
This is something that I have NEVER done!!! Sure I've read my favorite talks maybe once. But never have I read it cover to cover. I am actually really excited about the things I am going to learn from each talk. I am ready. I have my own copy and I am planning on highlighting the heck out of it.
For all of you who have found this blog, and enjoy it. I challenge you to take on Denise's challenge to me. Read the Ensign from cover to cover. See how it effects your life.

Craving a Healthy Life

My sister invited me to be a contributor to this blog and I'm happy for the opportunity. I'm not struggling with weight issues at the moment and for the first time in my life I can eat whatever I want and continue to lose weight...thanks to the amazing miracle of my nursing body. During my pregnancy I gained 80 pounds due to a nasty case of preeclampsia, 40 of which were gained in the last month of my 35 week pregnancy. I felt wretched and was so swollen that I could barely move. Walking up and down steps required me to take one step at a time because my ankles and knees (basically the essential joints for movement) were so swollen that they had lost most of their function. My body felt ugly and other than the cheerful and delightful movement of two healthy babies--my body was an ill fitting and uncomfortable stranger.

Two weeks after delivering my beautiful boys I lost 70 pounds. I was astonished and amazed but soo grateful. Eight months after delivery I have lost nearly 100 pounds. I am much thinner than before getting pregnant but my body is flabbier and much less toned. I have taken for granted how hard my body works to create food to sustain two healthy lives that I eat with abandon and exercise, well, NEVER. I need to establish a healthier eating pattern NOW before I stop nursing and most likely suffer the revenge of a normal person's metabolism.

I need to join my sister in her effort to make wiser diet decisions and ultimately lead a healthier, more moderate life. I don't want to entirely give up sweets or carbs but I need to truly exercise the principle of moderation: if I eat one indulgent meal, scale back the others or walk an extra 15 minutes. My children deserve an active mother who can keep up with them and share in their physical explorations of the world.

As much I love eating junky junk food every day...I crave a healthier diet and the motivation to have one. So, Amberlyn, I pledge my commitment to you and to a healthier diet. After I finish today's batch of peanut m&ms, I commit to taking the huge and necessary step of not buying candy. No more wasted money on bags of candy at Target.

More of the Same -- BLAH

Now that my sister is gone and Mother's Day is over with I am struggling to get back into the swing of things. I feel the vicious cycle of failure starting to rear it's ugly head. While my sister was here I didn't do much studying or reading in the scriptures. I really feel like that makes a difference. But it's not just that. I am constantly behind on my house work as well. I feel like I am drowning in laundry, my kitchen floor needs to be mopped, my bedroom has piles of clean clothes that need to be put away, and I don't feel like I can get any of it done. Maybe if I'd stop blogging I could get a little more done. There has to be balance though. I know that ultimately everything boils down to this.
I thought Monday was going to be magical and things would be back to normal. But they're not. How do I get back the same excitement that I had just 2 weeks ago? How do I get back my self motivation? I know what the answer is. I think?
What do you do when you lose some of that spark that you had in the beginning? What do you do to get motivated again? I need some suggestions.

Nothing Gained, Nothing Lost

I was so nervous going into my weigh in today. After all, I pretty much had an eating frenzy while my sister was here. I am so happy to report that I am exactly the same as last week. What a huge relief. It's back to the grind again on Monday. I am going to enjoy myself on Mother's day. I have been craving french toast with fresh strawberries and cool whip.
I love Monday's for starting anew. I can never start something in the middle of the week. Just a little quirk about myself.

Pounding the Pavement

Yesterday despite the rainy weather I decided to go for a walk/jog. I warmed up and then started jogging. I had a certain goal to meet. But as I felt the pounding in my ears from my heavy foot steps I realized that I needed to challenge myself. My foot steps weren't the only thing pounding in my ears. I could once again hear my rear end screaming at me as I felt it's heaviness jiggle up and down, up and down, Ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam. I was certain that I was having a thrown down with my large butt, and come hell or high water I was going to win. And I did. I jogged for a full mile without stopping. Compared to runners, this is nothing. But for me, that was such a great feeling. And an even better feeling as I sat on my bedroom floor and felt my face, arms and legs tingle and my veins pump from my quickly flowing blood. I felt alive and accomplished.
During my run I thought about many different things. I compared the pounding of the pavement to life. Not only am I pounding my way to a thinner me, but I am pounding the spiritual pavement as well. Striving to figure out who I am in God's plan, strengthening my testimony, my relationships, and love for myself. I am pounding the motherhood pavement as well. Striving to be a more devoted mother giving of my time to my children. Living With my children instead of By them. EMBRACING motherhood and finding true joy.

The Good and The Bad

I didn't have time last Friday to post about my weigh in. I lost just over another pound. Yeah for me. Then, the bad... My sister came into town and I have been disregarding any type of eating program. My sister and I are so into culinary fun that it's been hard. I didn't think it was going to be hard, but let's just say I've found a few new places to eat lunch. So that's the bad news.
The good news is, I reached one of my goals. By the time that Grace was blessed I wanted to be able to fit back into the cutest tweed skirt that I have. Well, I fit into it and wore it this past Sunday. And this morning I tried on some pre-pregnancy pants and capri's and was able to fit into them. Just a little muffin top going on, but not too bad. I'm actually wearing the capris. For having an eating frenzy while my sister is here, I'm still doing pretty good.
I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I am really looking forward to exercising and really getting into this losing weight gig. It's fun and exciting. Sometimes slow going, but so worth the hard work.