Flat Honest Truth:
What I've been going through is hard, and very personal. My focus has changed, maybe not drastically, but it has changed. I think I've been eluding to it for some time. I think I was afraid of admitting it. Not to me, but to the world. When, what do I care what the world thinks of me. Only that's what I've been worried about for such a long time, what others and the world thinks of me. When the real honest truth is, the only thing that really matters is my relationship to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
The focus of this blog is going to change. Not that anyone reads it. I just thought that if anyone does read this that they will know that it's changing. I'm changing this blog from a weight-loss blog, to a Christ centered blog. The only way to really change is through Christ. I shouldn't be so afraid of rejoicing in Christ. I hope to share with you the changes that have already started to happen with me.
The change that has happened hasn't been physical in nature, either. Which at first was extremely frustrating for me. In fact I am the heaviest I've been since starting this blog. If I allow myself to dwell on it too long, it can be quite discouraging. But what is happening is that I am discovering a new relationship with food in conjunction with my new attitude toward my body.
It's hard to change your attitude toward food when you've believed what the world has been preaching for the last decade. No Carbs. Eat every 2-3 hrs. Eat 6 small meals a day. You are nothing if you don't look like this...(fill in the blank). I'm sure the list could go on. So, I've stopped ALL worldly thinking about food.
Recently I was re-introduced to the Word of Wisdom. It's more then just abstaining from drugs and alcohol and strong drink. It talks about grains being the staff of life. Eating fruits, vegetable and herbs in season. And eating meat only in time of winter or famine. I'm still trying to figure out how often I should eat. I think I need to just listen to what my body is telling me.
This isn't going to be easy, by any means. I'm still battling a dysfunctional relationship with food. Which of course is the reason I turned to my Savior in the first place. I'm still fighting to change my cravings for junior mints, red vines, ice cream at night and chips with my lunch. I know none of those things will keep my body strong and healthy.
That's what it all boils down to. Being healthy. What ever size my body decides it wants to be after I've found the balance between a good healthy way to eat and exercise that is fun and comfortable, so be it. And if that means that I'm a size 16 for the rest of my life, so be it. At least I am doing what the Lord has asked me to do and that's all that matters.
