Stupid snow halted my early morning work out

I was up on time, dressed and ready to go. When I opened my garage door, there stood my husband's work truck, plugged in to who the cus knows what. Something about keeping it warmed up. What ever. So I trudged back upstairs. Brent asked me if it was too cold to go. I replied, No, your truck was in the way. Of course he didn't budge. It proceeded to snow from that point on until early afternoon. I didn't even make it to work out with Melissa. I sure do feel like a blob today. The only work out I got was to shovel the driveway about 3 times. Stinking snow. I love it for Christmas, but would rather the darn stuff stayed in the mountains where it belongs.

Being very aware that I didn't work out, I knew that I needed to be extra careful with my calorie intake. I think I did a pretty good job. I only had a few reese's pieces. And I kept popping the gum into my mouth. I found a new pina-colada flavor that is tremendous. Let's see what the damage is.

breakfast:
oatmeal with apples and pecans (350)

snack:
cheese, carrots and a few crackers(160)

lunch:
chicken sandwich on whole wheat(400)

snack:
crackers and laughing cow cheese(200)

dinner:
healthy version of baked potato soup, just 1 cup(300)
1/2 pear(45)

total calories: 1410

Melissa always tells me I need to stay within 1400-1600 calories a day for my body to lose weight healthy.

Dreaded Weekend was indeed dreadful

When I'm not trying to be super careful with what I eat, I love the weekends. But the weekends simply suck when I'm trying to earnestly lose weight. I know it shouldn't be difficult. But it was. Hunger reared it's ugly head on Friday, and it was ugly. I kept it at bay by eating every 2 hours, that's how hungry I was. Then my primary class came over for a pizza party. I had two slices of regular full fat pizza, it was my home made pizza so I know exactly what was in it. But then my teaching partner, Linda, brought over some muddy buddies and my best efforts when out the window. I downed a cup full of that stuff, and then another. I'm so ashamed I haven't been able to bring myself to tell Melissa. I know how disappointed she would be. BIG SIGH!!! I'm disappointed in myself. Especially after doing so well at Enrichment just the previous night. It stinks. But what do I do? Continue on with my mini melt down by going to Arby's with my dad. I did pass on all fries, and dipped my roast beef sandwich in honey mustard. Which I will be doing from now on because that was the best thing ever!! After getting back to my Dad's he had a container of gum drops on the counter. I set them aside and tried to hide them as best i could, but he quickly pulled those things out and I just couldn't resist again. Weekends are so ding dang difficult. Sunday was better. I fasted until after church and induldged in some redvines and 1/2 cup of ice cream. Then I thought I did pretty good at Brent's work party. Still, I know I can do better. I have to do better if all my hard work is going to actually be effective.



I went to the gym Saturday morning, swearing at myself the whole way. Then I managed to get up out of bed again this morning and made it to the gym again. I ran for 30 minutes and then walked for 30 minutes. It felt good. Now I just feel my body falling apart. Both knees of mine are hurting and in different ways. I would have ran longer but didn't want to injure myself. So walking it was. At least I got right back on track again this morning. Pat on the back for me.

I ended the day really well. Instead of eating the casserole i made for my family I had an egg salad sandwich with 1/2 an apple. I didn't eat anything after that. I wanted to, mind you. But losing this weight is more important then that bite of ice cream.

I ate about 1300 calories today. I tracked it on a notebook downstairs. I'm excited to be turning in my food logs to Melissa. I think having her evaluate my menu will be really helpful.

Early morning no go

Yesterday morning I woke up early and read to go to the gym. I went to grab my keys and they were not there. I looked over as much as I could in pitch darkness. I didn't want to wake anyone up. After about 5 minutes I gave up and crawled back into bed. I didn't want to go back to bed. I was really excited to get to the gym and see what the new class on Thursdays are like. Alas, it wasn't in the stars for me to get to the gym. I'm just glad it was on a Thursday when I work out with Melissa. I was still able to get an hour work out in. Yesterday was also Enrichment night. Full of full fat foods and decadent desserts. I was super proud of myself. I had just a tiny serving of funeral potatoes, no roll, huge portion of salad, and no dessert. It was awesome. And to my surprise, it wasn't hard at all. It's because I'm still on fire. There are some many get togethers in December I have to pick and chose which ones I want to be bad at. Sorry ladies, last night just wasn't going to be worth the extra calories. It was a wonderful evening though.

This morning was really hard for me to get up. Brent had to leave earlier then usual so I just biked in the fat burning zone. I burned just over 200 calories. Which isn't enough. I should burn at least 500. I'm not sure I'll hit that number today. Too many things pulling me in different directions.

My eating has still been great. Although today I am really hungry!!! I mean HUNGRY!!! I'll need to call for back up today. Talk myself through this. Or just gorge myself on cabbage and carrots.

It's going to be another good day. And my first weekend is approaching. I know I will make all the right choices. I must, I don't want to ruin all my hard work this past week.

Denying my Daughter

Yesterday my sweet daughter, who grounded herself until Thursday from friends, asked me if she could make some cookies. I simply told her I couldn't have cookies in the house. Why not she asked. Because I'm trying to be good. And if there are cookies in the house it makes it really hard for me to be good. But Mom, I'll leave them in my room where they are no where near you. Ya, right. Like I'm going to let my daughter make cookies and then leave them in her room. I told her that I have no healthy cookie recipes. End of story. Or so I thought. After school today, since Hannah was still grounded and still determined to make cookies, googled "healthy cookie recipes". And she found one, and it only had 4 ingredients and was just 10 calories per cookie. I was impressed. Ya, they were merguines. But we added orange zest and vanilla to the batter and I have to admit, they were quite tasty, even delicious. So delicious that I had more then four of those cus cookies. Moral of this story? Research for healthy cookies is a great way to stick to a new way of life.

A funny thing happened to me while I was on the treadmill watching VH1. Every song could be a metaphor for losing weight. Carry Underwood talked about a man being a tall glass of water but turns out to be candy corn disaster. I've experienced candy corn disaster, how about you? Maybe it's not candy corn. It could be redvines, or m&m's, or chips, and let's not talk about zingers. I had a major disaster with those about 4 years ago. I need to be reaching for that tall glass of water. A new stradegy that I'm trying to combat night time cravings. Another song that came on was Rob Thomas' Living Outloud. He talked about starting all over, and expressing ourselves with our words and basically communicating instead of leaving all our feelings pent up inside. Boy, am I so guilty of this. I am going to try and live my life more outloud. I think it's healthy. I'm talking about VERBAL communication. None of this texting crap. I'm not going to progress much if I don't let my loved ones know how I'm feeling about my life and the lives of those around me and how we are weaving in and out of each others lives. Ya, it can get complicated, and frustrating but it's how we learn and grow.

breakfast:
cereal and milk with a side of bacon

snack:
a few almonds

lunch:
grilled chicken and pork with a whole lot of veggies

snack:
more stinking cheese
carrots

dinner:
egg salad sandwich.
Just wasn't feeling the chili I had made for everyone else. I actually didn't want to go near the cheese or the chips with a ten foot pole so I opted out.

snack:
5 merguine cookies

calories in: Who knows. Too tired to count

calories burned: 570, that's 60 minutes run/walking on treadmill

A little bit of Ghetto Booty

Recently at my Gym the Tae-bo instructor departed. I remember going to her class 2 years ago. Not much had changed which was a little comforting. It was a little sad to see her go. Last week I was gone for the first class of the new instructor. This morning I met her. She was very nice, very outgoing. She introduced herself and asked me what my name was. I can't repeat her name because it was a tongue twister. It sounded a lot like Shakira, but it's not Shakira. She told us we could just call her Shoe. If that name sounds a little black, it's because it is and so is the instructor. She was SO much fun. I found myself laughing at my white girl uncoordination. She literaly asked us to shake our booties. You know, like you see in all the J-Lo music videos. It was bad, on my part. How do you do that kind of shake? Seriously. In another combination move she asked us to ride that pony. Ya, you read that right. Complete with laso and reigns. I felt a little foolish. But it was really fun to "shake" up my work-out. I hope to channel some of that ghetto and shrink my booty.

Today was another good eating day. I made sure I was prepared and didn't leave the house hungry and made sure I ate lunch at home. Staying on top of my hunger is key. I realize that it's only the second day. But you have to start with some kind of momentum. It was hard again in the evening not eating sweets after dinner. I was still a bit hungry so I ate a little more turkey. I hope was the right choice.

Today was also another good exercise day. Not only did I make it to the gym for an hour, I worked out with Melissa for a good 50 minutes. If that's not serious determination, I don't know what is.

breakfast:
1 cup of chex
1 cup milk
1/2 banana
2 slices of bacon

snack:
cheese and an apple

lunch:
egg salad sandwich
carrots

snack:
more cheese, it was another indulging day.

Don't you find that when you cut major things out of your diet you turn to other outlets. I know I have to watch my cheese intake. And I will only eat it once tomorrow.

dinner:
turkey, bacon, avacado salad.

Total calories: About 1400

Total calories burned: roughly 770

The Fire and Desire is Blazing Hot!

I know, I know, I know!!! I'm hot then I'm cold. I'm in then I'm out. It's yes then it's no. I've finally gotten to that hot place where I'm in the groove again and ready to say yes to good choices. It didn't take much for me to get to this place. Just my clothes feeling a little tighter, watching my gut pooch out during tae-bo, and just being sick and tired of being a size 16. I'm ready to make the changes I need to lose this extra 20lbs. Which seems like a lot, but it's not 120lbs. So in all reality it's not a ton of weight to lose. Just that extra weight that I've been carrying around for the past 2 years. I've finally gotten to the place where this size and weight just isn't good enough for me. I know I can look better and feel better. Besides, this extra 20lbs is keeping me from being the best me. Even though I'm the biggest in Tae-bo I feel like I work the hardest. And if I didn't have this extra weight I would be kicking everybodies cuses. I'm ready to run faster, farther. I'm ready to wear 2-3 sizes smaller. And by golly I'm ready to go. I had an amazing first day. I lost my head for a few seconds and put a 2 or 3 hot tamales in my mouth. But other then that, it was a glorious beginning. Not only was my eating right on target but I was at the gym at 5am and ran/walked on the treadmill for 60 minutes. My trainer requires me to go for 90 minutes. I'm going to have to do something after the kids are in bed to get that extra 30 minutes. I feel pretty great about actually getting my fat cus out of bed and to the gym. Mondays are so stinking hard. Especially after a super long weekend filled with Thanksgiving dinner, my son turning 12, and hosting 3 parties. Nuts nuts nuts.

My desire is HOT!!! I can feel it burning me up. It's go time. (I know, I'm lame)

breakfast:
2 slices turkey bacon
1 egg
1 bran bread
1 clementine

snack:
cottage cheese
mandarin oranges

lunch:
egg salad sandwich
carrots

snack:
1 oz cheese
fat free ranch dip
(this was an indulgence, but it was just what I needed)

dinner:
salad with bacon, cabbage and avacado

total calories: 1200

exercise: 60 minutes on treadmill
calories burned:480

Punching the Bag

This past Saturday I actually got myself out of bed, only because I couldn't sleep anymore, and went to the gym. I was a little disappointed when the few women in there started to pull out the punching bags. I just wanted to get in some good Tae-bo. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I loved hitting those bags. It was invigorating. It was empowering. It was theraputic. It was just what I needed. I had had a pretty rough week emotionally and it was awesome to take my frustration out on a bag. I could feel all the tention in body release with the hits and kicks to that simple yet complex bag. I was sad to find out that next Saturday will be the last class for that specific instructor. This is her last week. I am sad. No more tae-bo and 7am Saturday classes. Bummer. I guess I'll just have to expand my horizon and find other classes to enjoy.

I didn't get up this morning. Mondays are very hard for me to get out of bed. I am spent from the weekend. My body is trying to recover from the crap that I ate all weekend long. I use those as excuses to stay in bed. I find Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays very easy to get out of bed. Sometimes Fridays. I need to work on Mondays.

I was expressing my frustration to Melissa about not having much success with runing and weight loss. Setting those 5k goals over the summer was suppose to get me to lose weight. Then she told me it has to happen at both ends. The eating and the exercise. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

It is what it is though.

I reminded my children this evening at FHE that we were given the word of wisdom for many reasons. And one of them was a guide line of foods we should and should not be eating. Fruits and Veggies being at the top of the list. I need to do better, still. It's just like everything else in life, it has to be a priority. Right now, it's not. And it needs to be. I'll start praying once again to learn to love and prepare veggies and salads. I have to. I have years and years of bad habits to overcome and I can't do this by myself. I keep telling myself this cause I constantly need to be reminded.

I just need to step up and get it done. No more justifying, no more complaining, no more excuses.

I need to punch a bag everyday.