Permanent Changes

As 2013 quickly approaches, I've been pondering permanency.  What does it take to make permanent change in my life?  Desire?  Fear?  Hitting rock bottom?  Thoughts of a better life?  Setting a good example for my posterity?  I understand that making a permanent change will take commitment and hard work.  I think I need to allow for a few failures and set backs as well.  I would be ignorant and naive to think that permanent change can happen without some challenges.  My intent is to do it with a happy heart and a smiling face.  I know that commitment, dedication and hard work towards permanent change with bring a happier me. 
So what does my commitment level look like?  I've been thinking a lot about that too.  In the past I've only committed myself to a few months.  5 at the most, maybe.  What my commitment looks like is a YEAR working on changing and strengthening those 4 areas I touched on last post, which are Spiritual, Physical, Emotional and Mental.  I have to, I MUST commit to at least a year.  I feel as though a year's commitment will bring the permanent change that I so desire.  I'm praying that hard work will turn into second nature. 
All this has come about due to the desire that burns deep within my soul.  The desire to want to change. The desire to no longer want to feel sick, run down and beaten every day.  The desire for a better quality of life.  The desire to want to feel at peace with myself, and what God wants me to be.  Since the beginning of December I've been praying that this desire that burns within me will change my very nature.  When once I salivated over a milky ways, red vines, and ice cream, I want that turned into a salivation for delicious salads, roasted veggies,  and fresh crisp fruit.  I no longer want to miss eating artisan breads, slathered with butter and dipped in alfredo sauce. All those bad habits have contributed to my weight gain, and my un-happy feelings toward myself. 
I have a reason to change, 7 reasons, 8 actually counting myself.  Those reasons are for myself, my husband and  6 children.  First and foremost I'm doing it for myself.  Second I'm doing it for my family.  To set a good example for them.  So that they don't have to struggle as I have.  And maybe they still will.  But if I can help them now to see what living a healthy life looks like, maybe it wont take them as long as it took me. 
I'm ready for a permanent change to happen in my life.  I'm ready for the challenge that this goal presents at my feet.  I know it will be hard.  But nothing worth doing was ever easy.  Besides, I'm stronger then I believe I am.  There's power that comes from a strong desire and will to change.  As I type these words, fear begins to creep into my mind and remind me of all my weaknesses.  I know I am weak.  But that's why I'm not relying on just my own power to accomplish this.  It will take heavenly help.  I believe my desires are righteous, I will have the heavenly help I so desperately need.

Musings on the year of 2012

Once again I sit here at the computer, changing the title to this blog to conform to my current situation.  I realized over this last year that life isn't just about balance in one area of life, it's all encompassing between spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental.  I know that if I can't find happiness with myself right now, it wont matter if the numbers go down on the scale, I'll still be searching for true happiness and joy.  I hope to transform this blog into my journey to find balance between all four facets of life.  I'm sure there are a lot more, but these four are the ones that weigh most heavily on my mind. 
Over the last few years I've worked really hard to strengthen 3 of the 4 areas in my life.  Those 3 areas were spiritual, emotional and mental.  But as the year went by, my physical self was set on the back burner.  I found myself looking in the mirror thinking, "Girl, what have you done (or not done) to yourself."  I realized that being physically healthy is just as important as being spiritual and emotionally healthy.  They are all so intimately connected.
There are several experiences that I've had that I hope to record and expound upon here.  I hope to share my thoughts, feelings, progress, and even a few recipes here.  I tend to have more success when I am actively recording the goings on in my life. 
As 2013 quickly approaches, I don't want another year to go by where I didn't do anything to help me find balance, happiness, joy and peace with who I am.  I have too much to live for to let my life be wasted by fear.  I found a saying on pinterest the other day that I just loved.  But that's for another post.