It's more then just weight loss

I've been thinking a lot about the things that I choose to put into my mouth and it effects me and will effect me in the future. Right now, those effects are stronger then weight loss. Over time the wrong foods that I put into my mouth will cause gradual weight gain for the rest of my life, if I'm not careful. Its SO important that I get a handle on my diet NOW. And not just to lose weight, but to stay as healthy as an ox when I'm 80!!! I wont be able to eat mini candy bars every day for the rest of my life and expect to function properly.

It's just another element to the Fight, isn't it? I'm fighting for my older self. I'm fighting for the mother of Teenagers, to keep up with them, to win my battles with them. I'm fighting for the Grandmother that I will someday be. I want to have the energy and strength to care for those wee ones, to give my daughters and daughters-n-law a break that I know they will need.

Is that strange that I'm thinking about that? I've never been one to look to far into the future because of fear. But I have to. I have to work hard now to help me be the person I want to be n the future. By doing this the future becomes less scary and more exciting.

breakfast:
bacon and eggs(210)
1/4 cup granola(80)

snack:
none

lunch:
sticky chicken salad(550)

snack:
1/2 serving of yogurt(45)
1/4 cup of granola(60)

dinner:
3 oz turkey(90)
1/2 cup butternut squash soup(60)
1/4 cup applesauce(30)

snack:
nibbled on caramel corn(darn that special someone that booed my house. i guess they never got the memo I was trying to be good and am not strong enough to resist temptation) (200)

total calories :1325

exercise: ran/walked for 40 minutes
calories burned: 350

exercise: lifting weights 55 minutes
calories burned: 400

Curse of the Carb Gut

It's always interesting to me how people gain or lose their weight. Some people lose it in their butts or gain it there. Some people in their breasteses, or thighs. For me it's in my gut. And I hate it!!! If you gain weight in your butt no one really notices, until you turn around. But the gut is right in the front and is one of the first things people notice. When I gain weight, it's in my gut. I guess it's a good thing that it comes off little bits at a time. I would just rather have my weight gain somewhere other then my gut. I hate having a front butt, it's so disgusting. But I'm working on it. Yesterday was a good day. If I can remember what I ate. Thinking, thinking, thinking. Oh ya, shake for breakfast, quesadilla and cabbage soup for lunch, snack (not so good) york peppermint patty, and for dinner butternut squash soup with croutons. I could have done without the croutons, but there was nothing to the soup but veggies and broth. It's an amazing recipe and so ding dang good for you. Just like the cabbage soup. Nothing but veggies and broth. I hope that by eating cabbage soup before lunch, and a salad before dinner that will help to get rid of my dreaded carb gut. It's good that I am writing today because this day hasn't started out so well for me. I get in such a hurry and too busy and it's so easy to make wrong choices. It's seems like the wrong choices, when it comes to food, are more often then not the easy ones. The mini candy bars sitting on the counter from last night. Ya, that's what I've been snacking on today. I'm going to do better today. My gut isn't going to go anywhere unless I stop these dreaded old habits of mine.

Yesterday was a great day of exercise. I made it to the gym again and ran for 3 miles. I stopped a few times, but it felt so good to get 3 miles under my belt again. I can feel it working in my whole body. My back, my core and my legs. It's different running on a treadmill. I prefer the out of doors. But this will have to due for the winter months. After going to the gym i went and worked out with Melissa as well. It was a great day of work outs.

Not so much today. I had a super late night last night and I just couldn't get myself up. I should have. But I didn't. I was going to work out at 9am but things just didn't work out like I planned them to be. And that's how life is sometimes. Which is a stronger reason for me to be extra careful with what I put in my mouth. Careful, careful. But I'm not going to beat myself up over tiny mistakes.

breakfast:
1/2 serving of yogurt (45)
1/4 home made granola(60)

snack:
this is a killer 4 mini candy bars(200) ouch, that hurts. I'm just guessing on those calores too.

lunch:
tres sopes(amazing!!!)(600)

snack:
no snack, too full from lunch

dinner:
2 oz turkey breast(65)
3/4 cup cabbage soup(30)
1/4 cup potatoes(30)

snack:
home made granola(100)

calories:1040. I don't think this is correct. I think I ate way more calories then this.

exercise: None

Gym Rats

Hello again, to all two of my readers. Yes, you Sally and you Liz. I'm back. And in more way then one. This morning I actually made it to the gym again since getting preggers with Grace. I stopped going to the gym when I started getting really sick, okay that's a lie. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. At that point, I was done with the gym. My father in law got me another pass for Christmas. There was some fear associated with the pass, not sure what it was. Yes, I do actually. It's commitment. Once I go to the gym again I'm committed to myself to keep fighting this fight of mine. Am I completely ready to jump back on the wagon again? No. But I am ready to keep my runners body, if that's what you want to call it. I have no runners body, but I do enjoy running. I never thought I'd miss running, but I do. That fact is the driving force behind the gym pass. I don't want to start from scratch again come spring. I want to be better, be faster, and let's face it, just plain improve. But I was scared of the gym. I wasn't surprised to see a few familiar faces when I walked in. People that were there when I was consistently going 2 years ago. But just a handful. I think we call these people gym rats. Did they look any different? Not really. Some were a little musclier, maybe a littel thinner. But kudos to them. They are living the life that I am striving for. Having body and health a priority. I don't want to become a gym rat. I just want to keep motivated to keep my body moving and improve upon my level of fitness and healthiness.

I realized over the last 3 weeks that I'm not done. I'm not done losing weight. I just needed to take a break. I'm not going to be as strict with myself. But I am going to count calories. That is a must for me. It will keep me on track and keep me focused. But don't be surprised if you see "unauthorized" foods. I'm still going to live my life, just withing in reason.

breakfast:
2 slices turkey bacon (140)
1 small slice of apple bread (okay it's was cake. but who wants to admit to eating "cake" for breakfast? Not me!!!)(120)

lunch:
1 corn quesadilla(100)
3/4 pear(45)
1/2 piece of apple cake(60)
diet coke(gotta have my diet coke!!)

snack:
1 banana(60)
1 tablespoon fruit dip(I had to make sure it was good for tomorrow)(90)

dinner:
3/4 cup beef enchillada casserole(300)
1/4 cup green beans (10)
1/4 cup applesauce(45)

fhe snack:
1/4 caramel popcorn ball (90)

total calories: 1060

exercise: 30 minutes on treadmill
calories burned: 365

Letting Go and Climbing Up

Me and my baby at the top.

I recently had a conversation with a friend and came to a strong realization. We were talking about our weight, of course, and about expectations. The emotions just flowed to the surface. I was so angry that society expects us to be a certain weight, a certain size, a certain number. I just realized that I am HAPPY with the person that I am right now. Yes, I still have weight to lose to fit into what society says is safe and healthy. But I AM healthy. I AM strong. I am fitting into cute clothes, I am striving to eat healthy and to be happy. So I just let it all go. I let the stress of losing more weight slide out of my life. I know I said was going to take out diet and losing weight from my vocabulary. But I couldn't get it out of my brain. It seriously was a huge burden that was lifted off my shoulders. I have been so much happier and making better choices by just simply letting go. I'm no longer fighting myself, I'm working with me. That's so funny. But it's true. Certain foods just aren't tempting anymore due to the simple fact that I can have it if I want it. But I just choose not to. It's been wonderful.

My Mom invited me to go on a hike up Battlecreek. I knew it was going to be hard, and almost called it off. But I needed to go. I needed to prove something to myself. I didn't quite realize what it was until I got to the top. The whole time I was struggling up that mountain, with my 25lb baby on my back, I sang(in my head) The Climb by Miley Cyrus. I pure love that song and it's still my theme song. I wont lie to you, that hike was a killer beast. My heart rate shot through the roof, my calves were killing and so were my upper butt cheeks and I had to stop several times. Half way to the top I realized that my baby represented the weight that I have been able to lose. I could still be carrying that extra weight around on me. But I'm not. I did it. I lost that weight and can do so much more. I proved to myself that I am still stronger then I thought possible.
We really booked it up that mountain, it only took us 60 minutes. I'm so glad I didn't whimp out. I plan on doing this hike with my Mom again next year and do it even better. Cause I'm not done getting healthy. It's still a fight every day. I'm just not fighting myself anymore and that makes a huge difference.