Change is slow

Usually in January I hit the gym, hard.  I usually start a new diet and do pretty good.  I am determined to shed pounds and change my life, permanently.  This year is so different.  Exercise is not that important.  Although I really really really really want to start running again.  Will this snow ever melt?  I know, it's still January, but come on.  Eating healthy is still important to me and I am striving to find that perfect way to eat which is best for me. 

The biggest difference for me this year, is that I'm on a different journey.  I have very different goals which I hope will result in a physical change as well.  I've talked a little bit about this in my past posts.  As much as I don't want this journey to be about the weight, it still feels like it is.  My journey is more of a spiritual one.

I have placed more value on scripture study, pondering them, and praying about them and what it is that I should study.  My prayers are becoming more meaningful and fasting has new meaning and real purpose. I am trying so hard to foster a beautiful relationship with Christ.  We've been promised that if we put the Lord first that all other aspects of our lives will fall into place. 

With all this wonderful spiritual growth happening, I still feel a bit lonely.  The only change I see in my body is the change I wasn't  hoping for.  A good friend came over to help me.  I loved all her wonderful advice and counsel.  What it all boils down to is that change takes time.  Even spiritual change.  Which I am not good with.  I want instant results!!  INSTANT!!!  I work so hard for a few weeks wanting my life to change instantaneously.  In all reality, that's not how it's suppose to work. 

I thought I was doing something wrong.  There must be Something MORE I needed to be doing.  My friend told me I was in the same place she was 2 months ago.  She told me I was being to hard on myself and I was doing everything I needed to.  I just have to keep doing what I'm doing.  Even through weight gain. 

6am study time, here I come.  And it's been wonderful to start my day the right way!