Friday, April 27, 2012

Not Perfection

How did the first 4 days go of my no-sugar fast?  I did awesome 2 out of the 4 days.  I refuse to demand perfection out of myself.  When I have demanded that of myself in the past I begin to hate the process, hate myself, and end up giving up all together.  On Wednesday I went out with a new friend to a new place to eat and allowed myself to share a shake with her and our children.  It was good, and I didn't have anything else for the rest of the day.  Thursday my cousin and Aunt came over for a quilting day.  That was a lot of fun.  Although I succumbed to drinking a diet caffeine free soda, and my Aunt had a massive craving for a cake so we made one from a box mix an another diet soda.  My Aunt made this amazing glaze to go on top and I allowed myself to try that as well.  Goodness it was good.  Again, I didn't have anything after it. I did recognize how crazy I was for it after just trying the first little bit.  My body took a little quick intake of breath and asked itself, "What is this deliciousness and give me more!!"  Sure fire sign of an addict. 

I look at where I have come in just even a year and I am proud of my progress.  The reason I am doing this 30 day fast is to prove to myself that I can go without sugar.  That my desire for better health is greater then my desire to indulge in junk.  Even though these last 4 days have not been "perfect" I still haven't bought candy when I am at the store. I don't have candy or cookies in my pantry to tempt and try me. I don't buy a soda every time I'm in the grocery store and I'm not hopping in the 'burb to run down to the nearest gas station to get my fix. 

I am the first one to admit that I am some what of a follower.  I love doing what others are doing and have a hard time not participating in the fun things.  And for me, that involves food.  That is a step that I know will come later.  I can't jump all these hurdles at once.  That is a sure fire way for me to fall flat and hard on my face. 

The weekend is coming up and another challenge will be presented.  I love the weekends and the treats that tend to come with them.  But I have promised myself 30 days and although I don't demand perfection I will stretch myself.  It can be done.  I can go a weekend without getting too cray cray with the treatie treats.  My weekends have already changed their look and feel.  A lot still needs to happen. Progress, that's what I am making. 

The other critical principle that I am trying to pay attention to, is my body cues.  When it's hungry, i try to eat.  I try to stop eating before I get completely full, and the most important, I try not to eat when I am not hungry.  For so many years I ate even when I wasn't hungry.  I am trying to be kind and nurturing to myself and really listen to what my body is saying and asking me to do.  It's hard.  But I am grateful for the challenge.

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