A new perspective

The past week I have been thinking a lot about this journey that I am on. I keep fighting the idea of a "diet" and losing weight. I'm just not feeling the love. And hence, I am eating myself silly. I don't want to do this to myself any longer. So I'm changing my approach with a new perspective. So my apologies go out to any of you who actually might follow this blog for weight loss. Even though I still have weight to lose, I need to change my approach. My goal is to just get myself healthy. Eating at the right times, eating the right foods, going to bed at the right time, getting up at the right time, having the right attitude about life. I need balance. I can no longer torture myself with the idea of weight loss. I know I'm not done. But I just need a break. I need to re-group and re-do some things.

A lot of my goals are the same. I still want my family to eat healthy, non-processed foods. I still want us snacking on fruits and veggies and eating junk food just one day a week. Okay, maybe on the weekend.

I'm still in a fight for my life. I'm fighting to be fit. I'm fighting to be healthy. And I'm fighting to find balance. I learned a great lesson at Education Week in August. I went to a class taught by Merilee Boyack. She goes on a prayer walk every morning and expressed her gratitude to Heavenly Father for all her blessings. On one such walk she felt impressed to improve her diet. She set it aside since she'd been eating more fruits and veggies then she had in a long time. Again, the impression came to her. Okay, okay she told herself. I can take out 10 things. I dont' remember them all, but cake, cookies, chips, chocolate, and candy were on the top of her list. She told us, I know what your thinking ladies, not one ounce. Not one ounce did she lose after taking out all those items. 6 months after changing her diet, and she confessed it was hard. She felt like all joy had been taken out of her life, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had a lot of other stressful things going on in her life at the time too. Oh, like being in charge of helping to pass Prop. 8 in California. She was the driving force behind all the members going door to door, standing on street corners and such other activities. The day she went in for surgery was election day. When she came out of surgery the surgeon took her by the shoulders and told her that they took out a 2 inch tumor from her breast, and that her body did an amazing job fighting off the cancer, it's a miracle. Merilee is confident that if she hadn't changed her diet she would be dead.

Now, I'm not expecting to contract cancer. But I am here with a specific purpose and plan. Satan is trying to do everything in his power to stop me from achieving what ever it is that I am suppose to be doing here(which is another subject for an entirely different blog). Satan has grasped me with food. Food brings me down, I am addicted to it and I hate that plain and simple fact. It brings me to tears to know that he has such a great hold on me.

So now I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm trying to get my life back in order. To gain power over the adversary, to gain back control over my body and my appetites. It is going to be a fight.