Still sabotaging

Today has been a much better day. It started out at the gym. I warmed up on the treadmill for a measly 5 minutes. Then it was off to Tae-Bo. I was sad to find out that the instructor is moving or something because she's not going to be here for much longer. Sad. I really liked her 2 years ago when I went to her class. Any-hoo. Her class was super tough this morning. We did reps of 100 for a lot of different exercises and it was not easy. Towards the end of the work out, when we were already tired, she had us doing burpees. If you don't know what those are, let me describe it to you. You do a squat touching your hands to the floor, you jump back into a push-up position, jump back to the squat position and stand back up. Ya, it's tough. I don't know how many we did but as I looked around me and watched myself in the mirror I realized that I was one of only a handful of women that was still doing them. Ya for the fat girl!!! I did have to take a slight rest, but then jumped right back into it. I was so excited that I could keep up. It was very empowering to me. I was super red in the face, unlike some of the women, but I knew I was working hard. And it felt AWESOME!!! I can't wait to go back on Thursday.

As I was walking to my car I was flooded with feelings of disappointment and discouragment. Funny how a woman's mind works. First feelings of accomplishment, then thoughts of failure quickly take over. I kept thinking how my eating is sabotaging me. I am still working my rear end off with Melissa. It's not quite as intense since she's pregnant and not feeling good. But still, I'm working hard. If I could just get my eating in sync with my exercise I would be one lean mean, sexy fighting machine!!!

It still is so frustrating to me that food has such a hold on my life. That satan has such a grasp on me. It just doesn't seem fair. But life isn't suppose to be fair. We all have our struggles, and like I've mentioned before, this is mine.

I did have a much better eating day today. I still snacked on the Halloween candy, but just the tootsie rolls. Yes, it's still empty calories, but not as much fat. I put the bowl in the pantry. Thank goodness most of the good stuff is gone. That didn't take long at all.

I decided that I am going to follow the Body for Life eating program. It's simple, straight forward and I've had success with it before. You have a portion of protien, a portion of carb, a veggie with lunch and dinner and the best part, I get to eat every 2-3 hours. I'm better at grazing. I hope switching to this program will work for me. I don't want to be bogged down by my eating any longer. It's no fun. I want all my exercise to finally start paying off. If I'd just stick to a good eating program the fat would just start melting away. Ya right. Not with my luck. It's still worth a shot!!

breakfast:
2 slices toast(180)
breakfast drink(260)

lunch:
chicken sandwich(380)
a few baked lays(100)

snack:
tootsie rolls(200 a guess)

dinner:
7 layer bean dip(400)
8 tortilla chips(150)

total calories:1580(whoops)



exercise: tae-bo 45 minutes
calories burned: 350

exercise: core work out 60 minutes
calories burned: 300