The sorry horrible truth is that I am jealous of all these people who are accomplishing what I have been trying to do for years and years and years. Lose weight, be a smaller size, and be a good runner. I think I'm just having a pity party right now and just need to vent. What am I going to do with all these feelings of jealousy and envy? Nothing but get my own butt in gear. I have no one else to blame for the state that I am in except myself. Yes, I have made improvements, but none of them physically. I sure hope the physical part comes soon. I just don't think it's fair. I have a hard time reading about others success when I sit here in all my chubby glory. I guess I have to find solace in the fact that I am just doing it a little slower and when I finally make it to that coveted place it will be permanent. And not fleeting. Nothing that I have to keep fighting for. That thought gives me hope.
I have to remember that my situation is different then everyone else. I have my own challenges to face and my own mountains to climb. I am okay with my own struggles. They are mine and I can deal with them.
I feel better already. I am not going to let these disappointing feelings keep me down. Besides, I have done tons better with my eating. And that's saying a lot. Okay, it's only been two days. But it's starting to come naturally. Thanks heaven's for that. I've been eating a lot more salads, veggies, and green smoothies. Today I added a huge handful of spinach, 1/2 roasted beet(cuz of it's natural sweetness), handful of frozen berries, few spoonfuls of greek yogurt, some agave and ice. Blended it with a little bit of milk and it was delicious. No, I'm serious, it really was good. And the amazing part, it kicked my 3 pm craving and I'm still full from it. That is another miracle in and of it's self.
Things are getting better. I was just feeling sorry for my chubby butt. Is it possible to have a firm chubby butt?
2 comments:
I'm not jealous of other's progress, what-not. I don't care, really, although I am jealous that other's have more free time than I do at the moment. School, work, kids' busy schedules hardly leaves me time to be a work-out-aholic. However, I am improving myself in other ways which will be beneficial to me and my kids will be grown before I know it and I'll have enough time to workout 'till I drop then. At least I won't regret where my priorities were (as they lay now). I'm making changes like eating healthier, eating less and getting in exercise when I can (on my feet for 12 hours is definitely a calorie burner) as is working myself up to taking all 7 flights of stairs to get to work. I'm currently able to hit the 5th floor-someday I'll run it. But I don't have the time, or energy to work out 7 days a week. Esp after working an all-nighter-no way! My point is, don't be hard on yourself. We're all in different places in life. Some have more time to devote to exercise than others. I, personally, will never be a fanatic. I like my down time and I like food. I can definitely be better, carry around less chub, and eat healthier, but I'll never be a body-builder, marathon runner. And I'm ok with that. :)
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