The Holidays turned out to be more then I could handle. I thought I could be strong enough, powerful enough to resist temptation. I ended up Not being strong enough to resist temptation and not even motivated to get up in the mornings to get to the gym. Sometimes I found it hard to look at myself in the mirror. I am just too darn tired of disappointing myself. Plus, having to tell Melissa that I lost my fire was too hard. I came up with excuses for not working out with her. I just couldn't look at her in the face and see that disappointment.
As I look back at the beginning of December I realized why I lost my fire. It was the 2lbs that I gained that first week. That week of perfection. Do you know how discouraging that is? To have a perfect week and not have the scale reflect that perfection? That was it. I figured, what the heck? I might as well just not even try right now. So I didn't.
In an attempt to start over again, for the ridiculous amount of times, I am not going to weigh myself for the first month. I can't let the scale beat me. I have to just build on my good behavior. I can do that.
I might not quite have the fire under me yet. But I have to keep trudging along. If I can just bang this out in the next 3-4 months, I wont have to torment myself any longer. 3-4 months is such a short amount of time. Then, it's all about maintaining. Fighting to keep my weight the same. I've done that. It's the losing part that's a bitch. Shoot, did I just say that. It's the truth though.
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