And the battle wages on

For the most part, my spiritual sugar fast has been a success.  Yesterday I had a bite of cookie dough, and this afternoon I had 4 junior mints.  It has been tremendously helpful in my fight against addiction to open the fridge, have the urge to eat cookie dough and tell myself, "no, I'm fasting."  Like I said, a sort of trick of the mind, but really just a principle that I'm choosing to apply differently.  I am grateful that it's working.  I just have to take it week by week, day by day.  Besides, tomorrow is the weekend when I get to break my fast.

I had a good conversation with a great friend of mine today.  We talked about our continuing journey to overcome our food battles.  She talked about eating by instinct vs. overeating or restrictive eating.  I have had plenty of experience with overeating and restrictive eating.  But the one thing that I so desire to be is an instinctive eater.  That's when you eat when your hungry, eat what you want and stop when you are satisfied, not full, but satisfied.  There is a difference.  This goes along that vision of the person I want to be.  I want to instinctively eat whole grains, fruits and veggies.  It's coming, it really is.  In the process I have to overcome my addiction.  But my friend, as she listened to me explain my experience the other day, suggested that maybe what I am suffering from now is compulsive eating.  Not necessarily an addiction, but compulsion. That was a new idea.  I've never thought of myself as a compulsive eater but as I ponder the meaning of that, maybe I do eat out of compulsion.  I guess it's time to do some more research online.  


Now I am going to really try and listen to what my body is telling me.  Eat when I am hungry, but not starving.  Eat what I really want to eat.  And STOP eating when I am satisfied.  Sounds easy, right?  But when you've never really listened to what your body is telling you, it hard.  Kind of strange, and it feels different.  I think in combination with my fast, and instinctively listening to my body I could really be onto something here.  I'm actually getting butterflies I'm so excited.