Cookie Overdose

Starting Monday we got an influx of sugar cookies.  In my home growing up we had sugar cookies on two holidays, Valentine's and Halloween.  Not sure why, but we always did.  It started to be something that I looked forward to.  I began that same tradition in my own family.  My sweet sister-in-law brought over some sugar cookies on Monday.  They were big and delicious.  I ate mine as soon as she set foot out the door.  I was quickly reminded that I needed to make some for myself and maybe a few neighbors.  So I made the dough that night.  I spent all morning long laboring over these cookies.  I made 5 plates to give to a few ladies in the ward, ladies I visit teach and my companion.  I still had gobs left over.  I frosted one for each of my kids, one for the hubs, and one for me.  I tell you what, they were the best sugar cookies I've ever made.  And maybe it's because I haven't been having too many sweets lately.  But let me tell you what, those suckers were like shots of morphine.  I couldn't leave those things alone.  That's not the end of the sugar cookie story.  In the early afternoon my Mom drove up from Provo to deliver yet another plate of unfrosted sugar cookies with sweet valentines for the each of us.  So sweet of her to drive all the way down.  Then after dinner, my brother and his wife dropped by with a bag filled with not one, but two containers of sugar cookies and frosting from Macey's.  That would make their delivery alone a total of 24 cookies!!!  AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!  I'm glad to say that the Macey's cookies were not, and still not a temptation to me.  But my cookies, people, it's been a difficult few days. 

Hi, I'm Amberlyn and I'm an addict.  I'm addict to sugar.  I think the reason I did so well for the past few weeks is due to the fact that I had no sugar to speak of in the house.  Now that it's been reintroduced into my little world I find that I have very little, if any at all, self control.  ***sigh*** 

I find comfort in the fact that at my sit down meals I am making super good choices.  Passing on the cheapo hot dogs, opting for the left over whole grain spagetti and fresh fruit.  Eating oat groats for breakfast and drinking water.  It's that darn sugar.  I just need to throw it all out.  I should have.  But I have a husband and children who adore the stuff as well.  But they don't have weight problems.  I do. 

I knew there would be set backs.  But I just never expected it to be so soon.  Maybe by saying(typing) that out loud I was setting myself up for a set back.  Is that even possible?  I was listening to a Dr. this morning on 101.9 whose name is Dr. Matt.  There was a women who called and tried to convince him that she was afraid of success.  He asked her if the more appropriate question to ask was, Are you afraid of failing?  As she thought about it for a moment she said, Yes.  She has negative self talk, which leads to self doubt and then failure.  As I listened to that conversation I realized that I am like that woman in more ways then one.  In the past I was a ton more like her.  The only reason I feel like this time is going to be different is there are no underlying feelings of doubt.  Yes, I might get discouraged, but I am not going to let that get in the way of my success. 

There is a lot more that I could say at this juncture, but then I would just be blabbing.  I will leave my other thoughts for tomorrow.  For they are good ones. 

I am grateful for my body.  The sacred gift that it is.  I am grateful for this journey that I am on.  Change is still happening.  I feel it in the depths of my soul.