I'm back. I did pretty good on my vacation. But I could have made so many better choices. I have many regrets. The last few days back I have been feeding my frustration. Which is not the answer what so ever. My body aches from walking a gazillion, billion miles while in D.C. My hips hurt, my back hurts, my knees hurt as well as my emotions. I gained all my weight in my gut. I am affraid of the scale. I feel myself slipping back into my terrible habits which caused me to gain and gain weight. So why am I allowing this failure to happen? I hate feeling like this. I hate how my body feels, I hate the cravings that roar at me like a lion. I hate that I don't have the will power to just say no. I hate that I am succombing to my appetite. I have to ask myself, does the food taste good enough to treat myself like this? NO!!! So what am I going to do about it? I want to start tomorrow. But I have this mental block where I have to start on a MONDAY. Why is that? Why couldn't I start on Wednesday or tomorrow, Friday? I don't want to feel like this any longer. So I'm not going to. I am going to start tomorrow. I am going to start documenting what I eat again. Throwing it out into the blogging world and start taking responsibility for my actions again. Start owning up to my behavior so I can get back on track again. I am so affraid of not being able to fit into the clothes that I worked so hard to fit into. I am affraid of the muffin top, front butt, and shelf butt. Yes, I have made some really BAD choices these past few days. But it's not to late to stop and take an about face. I want to lose more weight and I know that I am going to have to keep working harder and harder to achieve my goals.
I have to say that I am disappointed in myself. I thought I was stronger then this. I thought I had the whole eating well and making good choices down. I am human. I am an addict. And I have to work hard every damn day to make sure that I don't fall back into my old slothful self.
I think another part of my problem is that I haven't exercised since coming back. My body aches so bad that I just want to stay in bed. But I know the nutrition thing will just fall into place once I get my working out gig back in place. They just go hand in hand.
After all, Tomorrow is Another Day!!!
2 comments:
I am sorry you have regrets. I am sorry that I didn't feed you healthier foods while you were visiting. I am afraid you will never visit again b/c of my bad eating habits. How can I help and sustain you? Should I start documenting my daily intake too? You could then analyze my ridiculous diet. You are braver than me to throw it all out there. Love you.
I regret not eating like you did. I watched you eat a salad at Chipotle while I edulged in a burrito. I wish I could have had more self control like you.
I regret more of my actions when I got home, rather then in D.C.
Vacationing is a scary thing for a dieter.
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