Stress is a killer

Today marks another day alone with my children. You think that wouldn't stress me out so much. It's my children, I'm their mother. But I tell you what, night time is hard. After dealing with after school stuff, shuffling between two dress rehearsals, dinner, missing a softball game, missing my husband, I caved. It was just too much and I got myself a small bowl of ice cream and one of the cookies I made for the final dress rehearsal for tomorrow. I don't know if I was just looking for an excuse. Anyway it's done. I feel guilty. I wont be doing that again. What I should have done was come to the computer. Thursdays are also the day that I begin to feel the need for my free day. Friday and Saturday are a struggle to get through. Those days are REALLY hard.

I was having a conversation with Melissa today. Her sister has lost a ton of weight since January. She told Melissa that you have to be a little crazy to lose weight. Mentally, a little crazy. Obviously I am not at that point or else I wouldn't have indulged in the ice cream.

I can be better tomorrow. I will make smarter decisions.

breakfast:
fritata
2 slices of whole wheat bread one with jam

snack:
cottage cheese and mandarine oranges

lunch:
shredded beef
trail mix(yikes, this was the start of my down turn)

snack:
protein bar, several chips with salsa(ughh, another wrong choice)

dinner:
the last of the shredded beef
1/2 apple with peanut butter.


gosh, today was awful. I want my husband home. I want my motivation back. Help me, I'm slipping and need to find my footing.