I haven't been neglecting this blog on purpose. Which, in the past I have been guilty of. The computer went down and Brent had to walk me through the steps to get it going again this morning.
Even though it's only been what? Two days? I have had a lot happen. First off, I stepped on the scale again yesterday morning. I didn't want to again, but knew it was my duty. I need to keep myself in check. When I stepped on I had to step off and back on again. I was completely and utterly surprised by the number. I was down 4lbs from last week. Which means I have lost a total of 22lbs. I was so excited. But the excitement didn't last very long. See, I have this self confidence problem. I look in the mirror and all I see are my imperfections. I still see a fat person looking back at me. I still see chubby relief society arms. I still see a front butt and shelf butt. I can't see past those things. I mentioned this to Melissa this morning. 22lbs should be a big deal, but has it really made that much of a difference? She turned and grabbed a 25lb weight. She handed it to me and said, " Did you not watch the biggest loser on Tuesday? Feel that, that is how much weight you've lost. You are doing it!" Well, tears welled up in my eyes. My emotions flooded to the surface. Even though I might not look like I want to look right now, my body is changing. The choices that I am making, are making a difference. Because, you know, 25lbs does weigh a lot. That is how much weight my body has shed. That is how much weight I am no longer carrying around. 22lbs, is a lot, and I need to accept that as a huge success. Once again I need to start focusing on the positive instead of the negative. There is so much more positive in my life then negative. I am fighting my negative thoughts. I'm finding that is one of my biggest battles.
When I called Brent to tell him that I had lost another two pounds it really surprised him. He thought that I had given up. I did have a few, 3 to be exact, bad weeks. I'm glad I surprised him. Not only did I surprise him, but I surprised myself.
2 comments:
Yeah for you! That is so exciting.
Good Job Amberlyn!!! I can relate to the struggle, I've been living with it my entire life. I've made up my mind that I'm going to do something about it. I've been thinking about my mom a lot and how a lot of her health problems were caused or intensified because she was overweight and that scares me. I want to grow old and be around for my future children and grandchildren. I want to be healthy. If you ever need moral support give me a call, I would love to be your support buddy! I love you and miss you.
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