Where has the time gone?

I hadn't realized that I have been neglecting my blog for so long. I haven't been neglecting myself as much. It has been a struggle with my husband gone during the week and then home on the weekend for just a few nano seconds. That's how fast the time flies by when you only see your sweet husband on the weekends.
A lot has been stewing in my mind and I need to share my thoughts.
First off I've realized that not much change happens within a person, both physically and spiritually, without challenges. My body will not physically change unless I push it to the limits with cardio, weight lifting, and eating. It will stay the same unless I run a little faster, lift a heavier weight or cut back on calories. Simple as that. Or so it would seem. They don't call challenges, challenges for nothing. It's not easy to push yourself past your comfort zone. I don't consider it fun when I am lifting weights with Melissa and want to cry during a set. I scream in agony and think to myself, "What the hell am I doing?" I'm pushing myelf past my limits and I am seeing a difference. I would see greater change if I would push my eating habits to the limits as well. Yes, I am still losing weight, but slowly. Like snails pace slow.
I am STRUGGLING to the max on the weekends. And I mean my weekends start on Thursday night. This might be due to the husband being gone and my evil habit of turning to food for comfort rears it's ugly head. Yikes. That's a revelation. Again, right? How many times to we have to fail before we don't fail anymore?
About a month ago I decided to challenge myself with a goal. I am really excited about this goal as well. I am going to run a 5k every month for the next 5 months. May through September. I am thrilled with this goal. Each race will be a small goal for me to set. Run a little faster. Eat a little better. In the past running has been key to my losing weight. KEY. So what better way to keep me on my journey then running 5k's. My first one is May 23. I am by no means a fast runner. What matters is that I have the determination to actually run in a race and challenge myself.
I haven't gained or lost any weight this week. I'm just thrilled that the scale reads 177.5. Gag, I just divulged how much I weigh. Oh well, it's just a number, right? I was flipping through an old food and exercise journal of mine and on May 11, 2006 I was this exact weight. Again, I am on the precipise of change. Exciting and scary all at the same time. I am affraid to be stuck at this weight and not lose any more weight. And more then that, I'm affraid of gaining weight back. But when I write those words, I know that it isn't true. I'm stronger more determined this time. So the weight will keep coming off. I need to get back into the habit of logging my eating. I've noticed I don't do as well when I don't write it down. It's keeps me in check.
A lot happens in a week.