I got in one last work out with Melissa before my Disneyland trip. I decided to weigh in just to track what goes on during my vacation, and pending trip to Virginia. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had lost another 1lb. I was so thrilled to see the scale go down once again. That means I've lost 12 pounds so far. I ALMOST reached my goal of losing 15. Which, let's be honest, that was a pretty lofty goal to begin with. 12 lbs is AWESOME!!! I'm looking forward to losing another 12 pounds!! My long term goal, which is a year, is to lose another 34lbs. That would get me to where I feel is a healthy weight and easy to maintain.
Now, my goal from now until Mar. 27th is to not gain any weight. Of course it would be awesome to lose something while still vacationing. But I'm not going to expect that. I just want to maintain and kick it into high gear when I get back.
I'm not sure what I'm more excited about. My trip to The Happiest Place on Earth, or my weight loss. I think I am just over flowing with JOY!
My next small goal will be to try and lose 15 more lbs before our Stake's Trek. That is 5lbs a month. My medication runs out in the middle of April. Which makes me a little scared, and to be honest a lot anxious. I know that the main reason I'm having so much success is due to the meds suppressing my appetite. I just need to call my Dr. and find out what the next step is once I run out.
I know that eating tons of Fruits and Veggies is going to be key to my success. I keep writing this, thinking this, talking about this so I can instill this into my soul. And in the very near future, I will become a fruit and veggie eating machine.
Here's to a long needed vacation with the Husband.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Excietment Continues
Yesterday I tried on some clothes that I haven't been able to wear in a long time. They were just too tight and made me feel discouraged about myself. To my pleasant surprise, a few of them I could fit into again. I still have a long way to go. But I can't express enough how relieved I am that I am beginning to see results. To feel good about myself again. To see muscle again in my legs, to watch my arms get thinner. I know that I owe a lot of my success to my thyroid finally leveling out and to the phetramine. But i don't care. Like I've mentioned before, I'll take it. Seeing results is so ding dang exciting and makes me want to work even harder. And that is just what I have been doing. I've been running on the treadmill, and working out hard with Melissa. It is once again rewarding to work so hard. I love it when the sweat drips into my eyes, down my neck and in between my boobs. It's awesome and I know I am changing my body. I use to hate looking in the mirror. All I would do is focus on all the things that were wrong. Now, it's not so bad. Now I can see changes visibly too. My excitement for this year continues to grow and grow and grow. I get emotional when I think about what this year is going to bring for me. It's going to be amazing.
Well I worked my butt off to lose 15lbs before my trip to Disneyland with my husband. I got close to that goal. Now, my goal is to not gain any weight while I am away on my trips. It's a good thing that Disneyland is a destination where you are on the move all the time. I don't know what it's going to be like without the kids. Then again, I'm married to the hardest working tourist. That is how my Brother-in-law described Brent. And that would be a perfect description.
I do recognize that I need to re-double my efforts with food. And that will be my top priority when I get back from Vacation. I need to remember the guidance I've received from my loving Heavenly Father. The word of wisdom is how I am going to continue to heal my body from the inside out. how I am going to live a long healthy life. I read an article in the Ensign today and a sentence stuck out to, it actually screamed to my soul: Obtaining anything of great worth often requires great sacrifice. My health is of great worth to me. Am I sacrificing enough to get where I need to be? There is more I can and must do to make this a permanent change in my life! And more now, then ever I am ready to make that sacrifice.
Life is so good. I still face challenges, but they are easier to face now that I have a positive attitude about being me, about being a mother and a wife.
Well I worked my butt off to lose 15lbs before my trip to Disneyland with my husband. I got close to that goal. Now, my goal is to not gain any weight while I am away on my trips. It's a good thing that Disneyland is a destination where you are on the move all the time. I don't know what it's going to be like without the kids. Then again, I'm married to the hardest working tourist. That is how my Brother-in-law described Brent. And that would be a perfect description.
I do recognize that I need to re-double my efforts with food. And that will be my top priority when I get back from Vacation. I need to remember the guidance I've received from my loving Heavenly Father. The word of wisdom is how I am going to continue to heal my body from the inside out. how I am going to live a long healthy life. I read an article in the Ensign today and a sentence stuck out to, it actually screamed to my soul: Obtaining anything of great worth often requires great sacrifice. My health is of great worth to me. Am I sacrificing enough to get where I need to be? There is more I can and must do to make this a permanent change in my life! And more now, then ever I am ready to make that sacrifice.
Life is so good. I still face challenges, but they are easier to face now that I have a positive attitude about being me, about being a mother and a wife.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
It's Working!!!!!!
The last time I weighed in was the day after my 37th birthday. I lost 4lbs. It felt amazing. I wasn't broken. It gave me the motivation to keep doing what I was doing. It made eating less, easier. It made saying no to certain foods easier. It gave me no desire for soda. It gave me a desire to work harder in my work-outs. And let me tell you, it's working. I didn't want to weigh in again until the end of the month. I couldn't play the scale game. It does murder on my emotions. Today was the day for me to weigh in. I was thrilled with the results. I have lost another 7lbs!!! My goal was to lose 15lbs before my trip to Disneyland with my husband. I am so so so close. And it feels amazing. I recognize that the medication my Dr. gave me is really helping to suppress my appetite. At this point, I needed some kind of help, and that is the help I needed. I have such a strong desire to make the right choices. I'm grateful for the help it is giving me. I needed this boost.
There have been a few hard things that I've had to face this last week. It has driven me to the gas station for a Diet Coke. And one of those times I chose to get package of coconut m&m's. I knew what I was doing an allow my emotions to drive my eating. Then I stopped. I knew that those items can not comfort me. They've never been able to comfort. I end up self sabotaging in the past. I stopped, fell to my knees and pleaded to the one that can give me comfort. I prayed for help. I prayed for strength. Life is hard, but I can't let life get in the way of my success. I've let it in the past, and I refuse to allow certain hard things prevent my progress.
Working out has gotten hard too. But that's another kind of hard.
There have been a few hard things that I've had to face this last week. It has driven me to the gas station for a Diet Coke. And one of those times I chose to get package of coconut m&m's. I knew what I was doing an allow my emotions to drive my eating. Then I stopped. I knew that those items can not comfort me. They've never been able to comfort. I end up self sabotaging in the past. I stopped, fell to my knees and pleaded to the one that can give me comfort. I prayed for help. I prayed for strength. Life is hard, but I can't let life get in the way of my success. I've let it in the past, and I refuse to allow certain hard things prevent my progress.
Working out has gotten hard too. But that's another kind of hard.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Triumphs and Slip-ups
February is almost over. I can't believe it. It's gone by really fast. In addition to all those birthdays I had a Couple's Party to plan, and put together some costumes for my kids. When I stress out I usually tend to eat my way through it. This time I was grounded. I wrote down all the things that needed to be done and prioritized them. In the process avoiding a melt-down. That is a huge triumph for myself.
Aside from the stress of events, I had the stress of being a mother to a teenage son. I realize that all teens are dramatic. I just assumed that drama was reserved for only the girls. My son proved that theory to be wrong. He loves his hair. He spends hours on it every morning perfecting it. To get it to be just so, he has to have hair spray. Well, he ran out and you thought the world was going to come to an end. He refused to go to school. When I helped to make his hair look decent, but not the way he liked it, he just about started crying, NO JOKE. He just about missed the bus too. I was so pissed at him. I lost it after he stepped out the door. On top of all the other items I was dealing with, my son had to throw a huge heaving wrench at me. This is where my slip-up comes in. I made a pre-meditated choice to go the gas station get a diet coke and something chocolate! Just my luck, it's close enough to easter that cadbury mini eggs were being sold in those small individual size. ***sigh*** Music to my over burdened heart. I fed my anger, I fed my frustration, and I fed my emotion. But I made the choice, owned it and moved on! Normally something like this would spiral me down, down, down. It would be weeks before I could pull myself out of it.
Here is where fear has been removed and replaced with faith and a desire to succeed. Yes, I had a bad day. Yes, I ate soda and chocolate. But I refuse to let one bad day get in my way.
I have to admit, another feeling I was feeling after my son left the house was guilt. It was sorta my fault for not getting more hair spray. But that doesn't justify his behavior. I kept thinking, what if something happens to him and our last exchange was this one. I was going to write a note apologizing to him and letting him know how sorry I was and that I loved him. And that we would get more hairspray for him. He called me as soon as he got to school and asked to come home since he was having a bad day. I ended up picking him up after the other kids were off to school. We got some hair spray, he re-did his hair, ate some breakfast and he was back to school. I'm not sure what kind of mom that makes me? All I know is that my son was happy to go back to school, he learned a great lesson in seminary, and we are still on good speaking terms.
Another triumph that I had was last night at the couple's party. I grabbed a barbeque chicken sandwich. I put a dollop of potato salad and some other delicious fruit, jello-y salad and a lot of a green salad. I took one bite of the chicken sandwich and didn't eat the rest. I knew that the first ingredient in the sauce was high fructose corn syrup. I refuse to put that into my body. I instead grabbed for the orange and sliced cucumber I brought for myself. I also didn't get a piece of cake. Which I'm glad I didn't cuz the frosting was nasty!
There are still a lot of improvements that I can make in my life. I'm not perfect, but I'm climbing my mountain now. I've stopped being afraid and started moving forward. It feels great. It feels awesome to have my clothes start to feel a little lose. That in and of itself is motivation. I envision the person that I want to be, and I am excited because I know that I will become her by the end of the year. I am so excited that I get butterflies in my stomach. Faith and Desire are my driving force. It's a completely different feel then anger and hate. Such a better way to change your life.
Aside from the stress of events, I had the stress of being a mother to a teenage son. I realize that all teens are dramatic. I just assumed that drama was reserved for only the girls. My son proved that theory to be wrong. He loves his hair. He spends hours on it every morning perfecting it. To get it to be just so, he has to have hair spray. Well, he ran out and you thought the world was going to come to an end. He refused to go to school. When I helped to make his hair look decent, but not the way he liked it, he just about started crying, NO JOKE. He just about missed the bus too. I was so pissed at him. I lost it after he stepped out the door. On top of all the other items I was dealing with, my son had to throw a huge heaving wrench at me. This is where my slip-up comes in. I made a pre-meditated choice to go the gas station get a diet coke and something chocolate! Just my luck, it's close enough to easter that cadbury mini eggs were being sold in those small individual size. ***sigh*** Music to my over burdened heart. I fed my anger, I fed my frustration, and I fed my emotion. But I made the choice, owned it and moved on! Normally something like this would spiral me down, down, down. It would be weeks before I could pull myself out of it.
Here is where fear has been removed and replaced with faith and a desire to succeed. Yes, I had a bad day. Yes, I ate soda and chocolate. But I refuse to let one bad day get in my way.
I have to admit, another feeling I was feeling after my son left the house was guilt. It was sorta my fault for not getting more hair spray. But that doesn't justify his behavior. I kept thinking, what if something happens to him and our last exchange was this one. I was going to write a note apologizing to him and letting him know how sorry I was and that I loved him. And that we would get more hairspray for him. He called me as soon as he got to school and asked to come home since he was having a bad day. I ended up picking him up after the other kids were off to school. We got some hair spray, he re-did his hair, ate some breakfast and he was back to school. I'm not sure what kind of mom that makes me? All I know is that my son was happy to go back to school, he learned a great lesson in seminary, and we are still on good speaking terms.
Another triumph that I had was last night at the couple's party. I grabbed a barbeque chicken sandwich. I put a dollop of potato salad and some other delicious fruit, jello-y salad and a lot of a green salad. I took one bite of the chicken sandwich and didn't eat the rest. I knew that the first ingredient in the sauce was high fructose corn syrup. I refuse to put that into my body. I instead grabbed for the orange and sliced cucumber I brought for myself. I also didn't get a piece of cake. Which I'm glad I didn't cuz the frosting was nasty!
There are still a lot of improvements that I can make in my life. I'm not perfect, but I'm climbing my mountain now. I've stopped being afraid and started moving forward. It feels great. It feels awesome to have my clothes start to feel a little lose. That in and of itself is motivation. I envision the person that I want to be, and I am excited because I know that I will become her by the end of the year. I am so excited that I get butterflies in my stomach. Faith and Desire are my driving force. It's a completely different feel then anger and hate. Such a better way to change your life.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Progress
I made it through my birthday "week". I never can seem to stick to one trip to a restaurant. This time, I went out 3 times. I feel so lucky since eating out is something that I LOVE to do!! I am so proud of the way I handled myself each time. I didn't over eat, I enjoyed myself and I didn't feel guilty at all. Now the trick is, getting through the rest of February with Valentine's being tomorrow, my son's birthday on Sunday and my Twins birthday a week and a half later. Its an overly busy month, but one that I am grateful for.
I feel like things are going so great. yesterday and today I did a workout on the treadmill which helped me burn 300 calories in 30 minutes. In addition to that I discovered that I can run faster and harder then I thought I was capable of. I kept using my weight as the reason I couldn't fun fast or hard. Well, I just disproved that I it feels awesome!! I keep thinking of all those contestants on the biggest loser who run on the treadmill when they are 100's of pounds overweight. If they can do, shoot, so can I.
I forget how exhilarating it feels to push yourself hard. To look back at what you just did and think, "That's right, I just did that!" I love the tingle that comes afterwards. I love the red hot face and the sweat dripping in my eyes. How could I have forgotten how much I love this? Because I was doing it for the wrong reasons last time. This time I'm doing it out of love, and not hate.
Over the past two weeks I have been praying to have fear removed from my heart and replaced with faith. I might have mentioned this previously, but fear and doubt or leaving my heart. I am more committed to myself then I ever have been before. For the first time I have hope. I'm not doubting that what I'm doing is going to show results. Things are falling into place and I am so grateful for that.
I feel like things are going so great. yesterday and today I did a workout on the treadmill which helped me burn 300 calories in 30 minutes. In addition to that I discovered that I can run faster and harder then I thought I was capable of. I kept using my weight as the reason I couldn't fun fast or hard. Well, I just disproved that I it feels awesome!! I keep thinking of all those contestants on the biggest loser who run on the treadmill when they are 100's of pounds overweight. If they can do, shoot, so can I.
I forget how exhilarating it feels to push yourself hard. To look back at what you just did and think, "That's right, I just did that!" I love the tingle that comes afterwards. I love the red hot face and the sweat dripping in my eyes. How could I have forgotten how much I love this? Because I was doing it for the wrong reasons last time. This time I'm doing it out of love, and not hate.
Over the past two weeks I have been praying to have fear removed from my heart and replaced with faith. I might have mentioned this previously, but fear and doubt or leaving my heart. I am more committed to myself then I ever have been before. For the first time I have hope. I'm not doubting that what I'm doing is going to show results. Things are falling into place and I am so grateful for that.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
I'm Not Broken
For some odd reason I felt a little thinner this morning then I did yesterday. So I decided to get on the scale. What was I thinking? I told myself that I wouldn't be stepping on the scale and that I would just use my clothes as my gauge. The desire to lose weight is just to strong to stay away from the scale. To my utter delight, the scale was down, a lot. I had to get on and off 3 times to confirm that it wasn't a hoax. I went through my morning still in shock. I didn't eat or drink anything before I went to work out with Melissa. I wanted to see if the number was true. A few hours later I got on the scale, it went up a tad. How may I ask does it do that? Especially when your body is doing more expelling of liquids then ingesting? But what ev. The scale was still down.
I texted Melissa to tell her I was coming over early to weigh in. I took the scale in to a spare room, striped down to my sci-vies and stepped on her scale. Which, I might add is NEVER nice to me. I was shocked, by what I saw. It read the same as my scale at home. SUCCESS, I'M NOT BROKEN!! I am down 4lbs!! After Melissa's 9am clients left she asked me how it went and when I told her the number I started to cry. What another tender mercy for me. All this hard work that I have been putting in with my nutrition is finally starting to pay off. And the beautiful thing about all of it, is that I'm not being weird about my food, or hurting myself, or depriving myself, or (most important) hating myself.
What motivation to see the scale go down. How rewarding as well. Now, I don't want to do anything to take that success away from me. I realize I still need to eat, but eating is less attractive to me. I think that has a lot to do with the phertmine. At this point, I don't care. What I'm doing is working and that's all that matters to me.
I am excited to see what happens when I introduce more exercise.
Happy Be-lated Birthday to me!!
I texted Melissa to tell her I was coming over early to weigh in. I took the scale in to a spare room, striped down to my sci-vies and stepped on her scale. Which, I might add is NEVER nice to me. I was shocked, by what I saw. It read the same as my scale at home. SUCCESS, I'M NOT BROKEN!! I am down 4lbs!! After Melissa's 9am clients left she asked me how it went and when I told her the number I started to cry. What another tender mercy for me. All this hard work that I have been putting in with my nutrition is finally starting to pay off. And the beautiful thing about all of it, is that I'm not being weird about my food, or hurting myself, or depriving myself, or (most important) hating myself.
What motivation to see the scale go down. How rewarding as well. Now, I don't want to do anything to take that success away from me. I realize I still need to eat, but eating is less attractive to me. I think that has a lot to do with the phertmine. At this point, I don't care. What I'm doing is working and that's all that matters to me.
I am excited to see what happens when I introduce more exercise.
Happy Be-lated Birthday to me!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Choose your Hard
Today I tried out a new DVD that I bought. Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. The front cover tells you, you can lose up to 20lbs in 30 days. I'm thinking to myself, that would be awesome. But the key to that kind of success is in the eating. I also borrowed a Jillian Michael's book from Melissa called Mastering your Metabolism. I love this book. It doesn't have a super crazy diet to follow. Fairly straight forward and simple. And basically what I've been trying convince myself of for a long time. No need to count calories or kill yourself in the gym. As long as you are eating whole foods, grains, fruits and vegetables with good lean protein, you will have optimum health. This is what I am putting my full faith into this time.
I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need to exercise. But who am I kidding. Exercise will help me in so many other ways. I know I've had this conversation before, but it's true. I would rather be heavy set and fit, rather then crack hore skinny and on the verge of death. I enjoyed the short,intense work out that 30 shred provided. My heart rate was elevated,I was sweating, and it was hard. But it has to be hard for me to see results. I know this is the mental block that I'm having. I don't want anything to be hard. I want it to be easy. But if it were easy everyone would be doing it. I liked this quote I found on pinterest, again:
I am choosing my hard. I am choosing to lose weight. I know how hard it is to be overweight and I don't want that hard anymore. It's not a rewarding hard. I want something hard to do that will make me finally feel good about myself. I want a hard that will transform my life into something beautiful.
I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need to exercise. But who am I kidding. Exercise will help me in so many other ways. I know I've had this conversation before, but it's true. I would rather be heavy set and fit, rather then crack hore skinny and on the verge of death. I enjoyed the short,intense work out that 30 shred provided. My heart rate was elevated,I was sweating, and it was hard. But it has to be hard for me to see results. I know this is the mental block that I'm having. I don't want anything to be hard. I want it to be easy. But if it were easy everyone would be doing it. I liked this quote I found on pinterest, again:
I am choosing my hard. I am choosing to lose weight. I know how hard it is to be overweight and I don't want that hard anymore. It's not a rewarding hard. I want something hard to do that will make me finally feel good about myself. I want a hard that will transform my life into something beautiful.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Plugging
I'm still moving along. Saturday I filled a prescription to suppress my appetite and give me energy. Well, I'm not sure it did either today. I'm not sure if I didn't eat much today out of desire or if the meds really were working. Either way, I ate only 3 times, and had one protein shake. That is a great day. I'm not sure how many calories I consumed. I'm trying to get away from that. I'm just trying to stick to the Body for Life philosophy. A portion of protein, a portion of carb and with 2 meals a vegetable. Of course I'm trying to add way more vegetables. I failed at that today, but I will be better tomorrow.
I haven't noticed any changes in my body. I refuse to get on the scale because that just plays mind tricks on me. I know that what I'm doing will make a difference though. I have faith that it will.
I have a hard time working out on Monday's, in the winter. I love getting out on the pavement in the sun. Right now I'm just not that motivated, still. Ugh! I only have a few weeks before I start my year of traveling and I want to be down a few pounds. I don't want to be swollen either. I guess the one good super highlight of the day is that I had no soda and no sweets. I made some more no sugar cookies today out of bananas and oatmeal. They are good for what they are. I'm sure I can make them better. I just have to continue to experiment. The idea of orange, chocolate and craisins went through my brain.
My good intentions seemed to slip a lot on Friday. Weekends have notoriously been really hard for me. This time around was no different. But I didn't go crazy like I normally would. I enjoyed guilt free soda and a few more sweets. Bring on the gummy bears sixlets.
I want to lose weight so badly. That is the truth. Yes, i want health and a long life. But I also would like to lose weight. I would still like to feel light on my feet. I would like to be able to easily put on my shoes without my gut getting in the way. I would like to look in the mirror and not see a chubby swollen face.
Right now I have super good intentions. I am striving to eat more healthy, whole, no processed foods. That alone has to be helpful.
At least I'm not walking around the bottom of my mountain with my hands in my pockets and my head held low. I'm finally just doing it. Stop the whining and the complaining and JUST IT!!
I haven't noticed any changes in my body. I refuse to get on the scale because that just plays mind tricks on me. I know that what I'm doing will make a difference though. I have faith that it will.
I have a hard time working out on Monday's, in the winter. I love getting out on the pavement in the sun. Right now I'm just not that motivated, still. Ugh! I only have a few weeks before I start my year of traveling and I want to be down a few pounds. I don't want to be swollen either. I guess the one good super highlight of the day is that I had no soda and no sweets. I made some more no sugar cookies today out of bananas and oatmeal. They are good for what they are. I'm sure I can make them better. I just have to continue to experiment. The idea of orange, chocolate and craisins went through my brain.
My good intentions seemed to slip a lot on Friday. Weekends have notoriously been really hard for me. This time around was no different. But I didn't go crazy like I normally would. I enjoyed guilt free soda and a few more sweets. Bring on the gummy bears sixlets.
I want to lose weight so badly. That is the truth. Yes, i want health and a long life. But I also would like to lose weight. I would still like to feel light on my feet. I would like to be able to easily put on my shoes without my gut getting in the way. I would like to look in the mirror and not see a chubby swollen face.
Right now I have super good intentions. I am striving to eat more healthy, whole, no processed foods. That alone has to be helpful.
At least I'm not walking around the bottom of my mountain with my hands in my pockets and my head held low. I'm finally just doing it. Stop the whining and the complaining and JUST IT!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Healing Food or is that Gassy Food?
One of my goals this year is to eat more foods that are healing. This week I really wanted to sprout some legumes and more spelt and kumut. I prefer the legumes over the grains for some reason. They taste better to me and have a better texture. Plus, the legumes are the ones that give you added protein without having to eat a cow or a chicken. They are fewer in calories too. Which is great. So for lunch I made this beautiful salad:
This salad also had no other dressing expect the juice I sqeezed from the orange I segmented. It was an awesome salad. It probably would have been better if I ate it over some salad greens. But I'm still not feeling the salad greens. I know I should be eating a huge salad every single day, I just can't do it. Now, I'm pretty darn sure this is the salad that gave me some tremendous gas. That's the only thing I can think of that I ate all day that could make me so musical. Luckily for me and for my family, the farts were fragrant free. Even though it gave me gas, I'm going to continue to experiment with more of these types of salads. It really was delicious, you should give it a try.
Later in the day I wanted to come up with a healthy, refined sugar free cookie for my kids. Okay Okay Okay, so they still have some chocolate in them, but it was 60% cocoa chocolate. I found this recipe from pinterest. I modified it to what I had on hand. While Grace was at preschool I ground up some different grains into flours in my amazing blentec blender. I ground up Pearl Barley, Oat Groats, and some Spelt. I combined them all and used that flour in replace of the almond flour that the recipe called for. I also added a few tablespoons of applebutter just to make it a little bit more sweet for my kids. I also added some popped Amaranth. And instead of raisins I added craisins. People, this is a successful recipe. I loved them. Most of my kids loved them too. I know it's going to take some time for them to get use to this kind of treat. But it's the time I have to help them lead a healthy life too. After all, I'm not just doing this for me, I'm doing this for them.
The only mistake I made was adding baking soda. The recipe didn't call for any and I was boggled by that. Which is probably why they are so brown. So don't add baking soda. These cookies were a great use of ripe bananas and I will for sure be making them again and again. Also, there was no dairy in them either, not even eggs.
This week has been so exciting for me. I realized the other day that this time around feels so different. And the difference is my faith in what I'm doing. I really believe that the changes I'm making is going to change me. I've never felt this way before. I've always had doubts and those doubts turned into failure. Not this time. It feels great to have hope. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to see changes. But at least I'm giving it a year. I'm not going to give up so easily this time.
Sprouted Mung Beans and Lentils
with Roasted Beet and Cara Cara Oranges
Later in the day I wanted to come up with a healthy, refined sugar free cookie for my kids. Okay Okay Okay, so they still have some chocolate in them, but it was 60% cocoa chocolate. I found this recipe from pinterest. I modified it to what I had on hand. While Grace was at preschool I ground up some different grains into flours in my amazing blentec blender. I ground up Pearl Barley, Oat Groats, and some Spelt. I combined them all and used that flour in replace of the almond flour that the recipe called for. I also added a few tablespoons of applebutter just to make it a little bit more sweet for my kids. I also added some popped Amaranth. And instead of raisins I added craisins. People, this is a successful recipe. I loved them. Most of my kids loved them too. I know it's going to take some time for them to get use to this kind of treat. But it's the time I have to help them lead a healthy life too. After all, I'm not just doing this for me, I'm doing this for them.
This week has been so exciting for me. I realized the other day that this time around feels so different. And the difference is my faith in what I'm doing. I really believe that the changes I'm making is going to change me. I've never felt this way before. I've always had doubts and those doubts turned into failure. Not this time. It feels great to have hope. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to see changes. But at least I'm giving it a year. I'm not going to give up so easily this time.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Shoveling Snow keeps me healthy and strong
Well, I stopped walking around in circles. Over the weekend I gained speed, momentum, and excitement. I haven't been this excited to begin anything since last year when I did my 5 day green smoothy fast. Now, that was hard. But I proved to myself that I can do hard things. This isn't near as hard as that was.
I spent a lot of time with my Aunts over the past week. I found motivation and added desire to finally start my goals. What a relief.
It wasn't hard this morning. I ate my protien and carb in the morning, had the inside of a sandwich with about 3 cups of sauteed veggies, had a green smoothy and a small dinner. It was a great day. An A day, if I were grading myself.
I did have a soda. So it wasn't a stellar day, but it was a great day.
The snow found us again. I was out first thing this morning shoveling away 6 new inches of snow. I was out there several more times during the day to remove more from the drive way and the side walks. When talking with a friend I told her that shoveling the snow keeps me strong and healthy. The only downfall is that my back is feeling it today, big time. But I'm okay with that. I am just grateful that I am healthy and strong enough to get out there and dig. It's hard work, but rewarding at the same time.
Just like this climb I'm on. It's going to be hard. Even though I turned around a few times, my climb has finally begun. Gosh I'm excited for it to. I know that there is something amazing waiting for me at the top of my climb. It's going to beautiful and rewarding. I can't wait to look back at what I had to go through to get there.
I'm grateful to be starting this Monday with such a positive attitude. It makes the start so much more pleasant and I feel like I can do anything!
I started soaking spelt and kumut, and in another jar I started soaking mung beans and lentils. I read up on sprouting again and was excited about the micro nutrients and protien found in sprouts. I am excited to start making sweet and savory salads with them. And to just pop them for a quick snack.
Happy Monday every. And Happy Climbing!
I spent a lot of time with my Aunts over the past week. I found motivation and added desire to finally start my goals. What a relief.
It wasn't hard this morning. I ate my protien and carb in the morning, had the inside of a sandwich with about 3 cups of sauteed veggies, had a green smoothy and a small dinner. It was a great day. An A day, if I were grading myself.
I did have a soda. So it wasn't a stellar day, but it was a great day.
The snow found us again. I was out first thing this morning shoveling away 6 new inches of snow. I was out there several more times during the day to remove more from the drive way and the side walks. When talking with a friend I told her that shoveling the snow keeps me strong and healthy. The only downfall is that my back is feeling it today, big time. But I'm okay with that. I am just grateful that I am healthy and strong enough to get out there and dig. It's hard work, but rewarding at the same time.
Just like this climb I'm on. It's going to be hard. Even though I turned around a few times, my climb has finally begun. Gosh I'm excited for it to. I know that there is something amazing waiting for me at the top of my climb. It's going to beautiful and rewarding. I can't wait to look back at what I had to go through to get there.
I'm grateful to be starting this Monday with such a positive attitude. It makes the start so much more pleasant and I feel like I can do anything!
I started soaking spelt and kumut, and in another jar I started soaking mung beans and lentils. I read up on sprouting again and was excited about the micro nutrients and protien found in sprouts. I am excited to start making sweet and savory salads with them. And to just pop them for a quick snack.
Happy Monday every. And Happy Climbing!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
It's Hard
I can't believe that it's been a week since I last checked in. I've been busy with family and showers and dinners. I wish I could say that I've been stellar with my life, but in fact I have not. I haven't gone completely hog wild either.
This change is harder then I first expected. I haven't signed my commitment yet. Melissa asked me about it the other day and she asked me this,"Is it because you are still drinking diet coke?" Ashamed, I dropped my head and said Yes. I think I am making a bigger deal out of the soda then I need to. I've quit it before, and yes it was hard. Maybe that simple knowledge is what's preventing me from taking that leap. Another reason is that I don't feel a huge change when I go off of it. I know it's poisoning me somehow, but I just can't see the difference.
Over this weekend I saw a lot of my Aunt Mel. She's lost about 70lbs doing a pre-packed program that costs almost $400 a month. Not something that I can afford, by any stretch of the imagination. The logic behind the program is high protein, vegetables and salads. But it's the type of protein that is key. I wont bore you with the details. She also said that you shouldn't exercise. Exercise puts some kind of block on weight loss. Both my Aunts could see that I had a mental block with that. I love to exercise. I love how it makes me feel physically, mentally and emotionally. But I wonder if there is some truth to what she is saying.
Even though I don't want to give up on the exercise. I think I might give it a shot. Focus on my nutrition and add exercise back in once I start losing the weight. Exercising is key to maintaining, I know that is a fact. I will give it 3 months. If I don't see any difference in weight loss then I'm going back to exercising.
Besides, I need to focus all my energies on nutrition anyway. Nutrition is key, 80% of weight loss.
Fear is still running my life. I fear the pain that I am going to have to endure to rip myself from my old habits. And it's frightening to me. But how many times do I have to tell myself that my old lifestyle hasn't gotten me anywhere.
I don't need a diet plan, I need a counselor to help me through my week to week struggles.
My fear is still holding me back. I thought my desire was stronger, but who am I kidding. Every morning I wake up telling myself that today is going to be different. Today I am going to punch fear in the face and lead the life I always wanted to. And then I find myself stumbling over grains of sand. It's dis-heartening really. I look at myself and wonder how weak of a person I truly am. I can't even commit to giving myself a healthier life.
I look at the weeks that have already slipped through my fingers and want to give up. But nothing worth fighting for is easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
I don't want to give up. So I'm not. I don't even really think my climb has begun. I'm just walking around in circles at the base of my Mountain, with my head hung low, and my hands in my pockets afraid of what lies ahead. Kicking the dirt in front of me asking myself ,"Is this really worth it? Is this really what you want to do with your life?"
Damn it, it is.
Facing our fears is one of the hardest things we have to do in this life. But my life isn't going to change unless I punch my fears in the face. And punch it I must, and probably several times.
This change is harder then I first expected. I haven't signed my commitment yet. Melissa asked me about it the other day and she asked me this,"Is it because you are still drinking diet coke?" Ashamed, I dropped my head and said Yes. I think I am making a bigger deal out of the soda then I need to. I've quit it before, and yes it was hard. Maybe that simple knowledge is what's preventing me from taking that leap. Another reason is that I don't feel a huge change when I go off of it. I know it's poisoning me somehow, but I just can't see the difference.
Over this weekend I saw a lot of my Aunt Mel. She's lost about 70lbs doing a pre-packed program that costs almost $400 a month. Not something that I can afford, by any stretch of the imagination. The logic behind the program is high protein, vegetables and salads. But it's the type of protein that is key. I wont bore you with the details. She also said that you shouldn't exercise. Exercise puts some kind of block on weight loss. Both my Aunts could see that I had a mental block with that. I love to exercise. I love how it makes me feel physically, mentally and emotionally. But I wonder if there is some truth to what she is saying.
Even though I don't want to give up on the exercise. I think I might give it a shot. Focus on my nutrition and add exercise back in once I start losing the weight. Exercising is key to maintaining, I know that is a fact. I will give it 3 months. If I don't see any difference in weight loss then I'm going back to exercising.
Besides, I need to focus all my energies on nutrition anyway. Nutrition is key, 80% of weight loss.
Fear is still running my life. I fear the pain that I am going to have to endure to rip myself from my old habits. And it's frightening to me. But how many times do I have to tell myself that my old lifestyle hasn't gotten me anywhere.
I don't need a diet plan, I need a counselor to help me through my week to week struggles.
My fear is still holding me back. I thought my desire was stronger, but who am I kidding. Every morning I wake up telling myself that today is going to be different. Today I am going to punch fear in the face and lead the life I always wanted to. And then I find myself stumbling over grains of sand. It's dis-heartening really. I look at myself and wonder how weak of a person I truly am. I can't even commit to giving myself a healthier life.
I look at the weeks that have already slipped through my fingers and want to give up. But nothing worth fighting for is easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
I don't want to give up. So I'm not. I don't even really think my climb has begun. I'm just walking around in circles at the base of my Mountain, with my head hung low, and my hands in my pockets afraid of what lies ahead. Kicking the dirt in front of me asking myself ,"Is this really worth it? Is this really what you want to do with your life?"
Damn it, it is.
Facing our fears is one of the hardest things we have to do in this life. But my life isn't going to change unless I punch my fears in the face. And punch it I must, and probably several times.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Sprouted Spelt and Kumut Salad
I wish I could say that I had a perfect day. Even though it wasn't perfect, it was a good day. On Sunday I began soaking some grains so I could sprout them. Last year I fell in love with sprouting grains and legumes. Sprouting turns a grain into a growing thing, full of energy. One of my most favorite salads that I discovered was this one:
Sprouted Kumut, Spelt and Apple Salad
Isn't it pretty?
I truly am trying to fix food that is beautiful to look at, plus has healing properties. Although I don't completely understand the science or nutrition behind sprouting. I know it's good for you. Plus, this salad is delicious. Would you like the recipe?
2 cups sprouted Spelt, Kumut
1 apple diced
Juice of half a lemon, this help to keep the apples from turning brown
1/4 cup craisins
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp truvia
How do you sprout? Oh my word, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. I took 1/4 cup of both grains, put them in a mason jar, filled it up with water and let it soak over night. I drained and rinsed the grains and added them back to the jar. Every 4 hours, I rinsed and drained the grains until I saw them begin to sprout. Once I saw the sprouts, I placed them in a plastic storage container and put them in my fridge.
Other grains that I love to sprout are mung beans and lentils. My son Beckham actually adores sprouted lentil and will eat them like popcorn. I make a killer salad out of sprouted lentils with roasted root vegetables and a balsamic vinaigrette.
I had this for lunch along with a simple salad with balsamic vinaigrette and a hamburger patty between whole wheat bread. I was craving a sandwich, and I didn't want to go out and buy anything. This was the best I could do. I wish I would have not eaten the bread. It seemed oximoronish to be eating such a heavy thing with such a beautiful salad. But both things hit the spot. I am still learning how to make these changes work. At least I'm doing something instead of just thinking about how my life could be.
This morning I jogged on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I am as slow as snails, but I love this quote:
I am slow. It's hard to run when I'm heavy and not as fit as I use to be. As I was leaving, I decided that running/jogging is something that I want to do right now. Not a work out dvd. I believe strongly that we should do things that we love. It makes life so much more enjoyable and desirable to live. Even though the treadmill is not my favorite way to run, at least I'm doing it. And I met a majority of my commitments today. I worked out, I fixed healing food and I didn't have any soda. I didn't wake up and do early morning scripture study. I was relying on my husband's alarm to go off like it usually does at 6am, but it didn't. I've learned my lesson. I have to rely on my own alarm to get me up in the morning.
I have to continually remind myself that it's about the process. I am not on a diet. I am on a quest to change my life for good. That type of change happens gradually. I find that I am not wanting to make the same choices that I was making just 4 months ago. Telling myself that it's perfectly fine to indulge in this or that. You only live once, so why not. Hmm, and where has that attitude gotten me? Oh ya, fat. So instead of making the wrong choice, I just go without. I'm not hungry, I'm not snacking, I'm not craving too much either.
I punched fear in the face today. And it felt awesome. It felt great to make the time to exercise. I could have so easily said no, I don't have time for you. Hello, that was fear speaking. So I punched that idea out of my head and told myself you do have time for it.
It felt great to go without. It felt awesome to eat a salad that was so alive and healthy.
I hope to am going to build upon each day, putting one foot in front of the other. I love it. It's so exciting. I am becoming that woman I can see ahead of me. The person I want so terribly to be.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Choosing Coke
Today I had a feeling of peace. I knew that the path that I have started is the right one. No diets ahead of me, no torturous battles to fight with myself. For the first time, the goals that I have set feel good and right. I feel as though this year, my goals will finally come to fruition. That is an amazing feeling.
I had a green smoothy for breakfast. It was delicious. I went out with my cousin Steph and enjoyed a delicious lunch at my most favorite pizza joint, Slab. There I let myself have a coke. I know I shouldn't have. But I did it anyway, consciously making the choice. Not letting the choice effect me either. Not beating myself up over it. I know that I will overcome Coke.
I made a wonderful soup. I found the recipe in the recent Cooking Light Magazine. It's a potato soup thickened with roasted cauliflower. For a side I made cheddar biscuits. It was a good dinner. Those are the only times I ate. I had an apple for a snack. I drank water later on in the day. So my day wasn't perfect. But it felt right. I didn't indulge in sugar. That is a great thing.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I have to remember to get in my exercise. I have a great opportunity to go on a Pioneer Trek this summer. This opportunity have greatly increased my desire to walk, run and hike. I need to be in better physical shape then I am now. My desire to bring my family along with me in my goals has greatly increased as well.
I admit that I love January. But the weather is getting in my way of wanting to pound the pavement, and blaze the trails. I guess I'm just going to have to get over it and suffer through work-outs on DVD until the spring thaw.
Did I mention how excited I am for this year? I am soooo excited.
I had a green smoothy for breakfast. It was delicious. I went out with my cousin Steph and enjoyed a delicious lunch at my most favorite pizza joint, Slab. There I let myself have a coke. I know I shouldn't have. But I did it anyway, consciously making the choice. Not letting the choice effect me either. Not beating myself up over it. I know that I will overcome Coke.
I made a wonderful soup. I found the recipe in the recent Cooking Light Magazine. It's a potato soup thickened with roasted cauliflower. For a side I made cheddar biscuits. It was a good dinner. Those are the only times I ate. I had an apple for a snack. I drank water later on in the day. So my day wasn't perfect. But it felt right. I didn't indulge in sugar. That is a great thing.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I have to remember to get in my exercise. I have a great opportunity to go on a Pioneer Trek this summer. This opportunity have greatly increased my desire to walk, run and hike. I need to be in better physical shape then I am now. My desire to bring my family along with me in my goals has greatly increased as well.
I admit that I love January. But the weather is getting in my way of wanting to pound the pavement, and blaze the trails. I guess I'm just going to have to get over it and suffer through work-outs on DVD until the spring thaw.
Did I mention how excited I am for this year? I am soooo excited.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Making a Contract
Once again, while studying my scriptures I was impressed to come up with a contract. Something that binds me to my commitments for the year of 2013. Something that helps keep me accountable for my actions and makes this whole process more real. I'm going to have Melissa sign it as well. This year is for real people. Nothing is coming between me and my health. I know I've said this many many many times before. But all those other times I was just saying it trying to pump myself up. And to be completely honest, I'm tired of only trying for a few months and giving up on myself. At some point I have to believe in myself, believe that I can do hard things.
Here is what my contract looks like.
Here is what my contract looks like.
Commitments for 2013
In an effort
to permanently improve my health, I am committing to these goals for the entire
year of 2013. Understanding that it's
okay to be flexible. Remember to be
nurturing and loving along the way.
I commit to
cutting out re-fined sugars, re-fined flours and Soda. Understanding that sugar is a highly
addictive substance and is doing damage to my health physically, emotionally
and mentally.
I commit to
Early Morning Scripture Study. Devoting
myself to God and receiving personal revelation.
I commit to
exercising 30 minutes a day 5 days a week.
I commit to
drinking a green smoothy every morning, to help de-tox my body and help curb my
afternoon sweet tooth.
I commit to
preparing and eating foods that are healing.
Vegetables, Leafy Greens, Fruits and whole grains.
I commit to
running two 5k's, and one 10k this summer.
I understand
that these commitments came from my soul and will help me gain optimum health. I understand that these commitments will cause
to me stretch and grow in ways that I might not be ready for. But putting faith in God, I know that these
goals are attainable and completely within my grasp.
The only thing in this contract that gives me real anxiety, is giving up the soda. I was talking with Melissa and confessed that the idea of never having another diet coke/ coke zero was literally causing me to panic. In fact just thinking about it right now, typing about, is getting me emotional. I'm being so ridiculous right now. It's just a drink. The challenge is to come up with something that I can replace the soda with. Something that is made with natural sugars and wont reek havoc on my body. I found these gems on pinterest, waters that are flavored with fruit and herbs. These beverages give me hope that I can give up the toxic soda. I'll let you know how I like them.
Today in Sunday School the teacher told us that this was his most favorite picture of Jesus:
He said he felt as if the Savior were looking directly at him. At this point the teacher got emotional and so did I. This week I have felt the love that the Savior has had for me. Answering my prayers, giving me impressions and guiding my life in a direction that brings me closer to light and truth. I know that Jesus knows me, Amberlyn. I know that he loves me. I have felt the warmth of his love in the core of my being. I love Him for that.
I am excited for 2013. This year is going to be filled with adventure and so much change. I haven't been this excited about a single year since the births of my children. That's saying something. As you mother's know, nothing is more exciting then anticipating the birth a child. Maybe I'm exited about the "birth" of a new me.
Friday, January 11, 2013
More Spiritual Inspiration and Popped Amaranth
Yesterday I had an amazing experience while reading my scriptures. I was going to keep it to myself but decided that I needed to share it.
While studying I was impressed to look up the word Health in the Bible Dictionary. I was astonished at what I read. It read: In Old English this word denoted healing power, deliverance, salvation. Just the other night I mentioned to a good friend, Rachel, how amazing it would be if I could heal myself with nutrition. Is it possible for good health to deliver us from danger? Danger of addictions, toxins, depression, or even hormonal imbalances? Can good health deliver us from physical ailments as well? And can good health give us added strength to do more physically demanding responsibilities? And if that is possible, what does that kind of nutrition look like? Nutrution that has healing power?
I made myself a list:
No refined sugars
Whole grains
Vegetables
Salads, dark leafy greens
Fresh fruits
What about protein?
I have a new goal for this year. To discover what nutrition has healing powers. I'm pretty sure my list above is pretty spot on. Now my other goal is to start eating that way.
Not only does good health deliver us from danger, but it keeps us safe. I understand that exercise is important to good health as well. But the impression that I keep getting is that nutrition is far more superior in helping us gain optimum health.
So what is keeping me from doing this? Nothing really except a tiny word, FEAR. Fear of leaving my comfort zone and doing things that I am not familiar with. But that comfort zone has gotten me no where. It's just kept me fat and sassy, and yes sick. So what am I really afraid of? Not being sick? Good health? What is scary about that? Oh ya right, the process of getting there. This is where I need to replace my fear with faith. Faith in knowing that the impressions I received yesterday were from a loving Heavenly Father who answered a prayer.
So today I jumped right in. Last year I discoverd a tiny little seed called Amaranth. For it to be consumed it has to be popped. You'll need a tall pot. I still get popped amaranth everywhere even with mine, but that's what makes it so fun! Place the the pot on the stove on medium high heat, but not super hot cuz you'll end up scortching the seeds. I add just a tablespoon at a time. You don't add anything to the pot except the seeds themselves. In a few seconds the seeds start to pop. You want to constantly be moving the pot around to ensure optimum popping. The seeds pop just like popcorn. In fact my kids just eat the seeds like popcorn.
I've added popped amaranth to muffins, breads, even rice crispy treats.
While studying I was impressed to look up the word Health in the Bible Dictionary. I was astonished at what I read. It read: In Old English this word denoted healing power, deliverance, salvation. Just the other night I mentioned to a good friend, Rachel, how amazing it would be if I could heal myself with nutrition. Is it possible for good health to deliver us from danger? Danger of addictions, toxins, depression, or even hormonal imbalances? Can good health deliver us from physical ailments as well? And can good health give us added strength to do more physically demanding responsibilities? And if that is possible, what does that kind of nutrition look like? Nutrution that has healing power?
I made myself a list:
No refined sugars
Whole grains
Vegetables
Salads, dark leafy greens
Fresh fruits
What about protein?
I have a new goal for this year. To discover what nutrition has healing powers. I'm pretty sure my list above is pretty spot on. Now my other goal is to start eating that way.
Not only does good health deliver us from danger, but it keeps us safe. I understand that exercise is important to good health as well. But the impression that I keep getting is that nutrition is far more superior in helping us gain optimum health.
So what is keeping me from doing this? Nothing really except a tiny word, FEAR. Fear of leaving my comfort zone and doing things that I am not familiar with. But that comfort zone has gotten me no where. It's just kept me fat and sassy, and yes sick. So what am I really afraid of? Not being sick? Good health? What is scary about that? Oh ya right, the process of getting there. This is where I need to replace my fear with faith. Faith in knowing that the impressions I received yesterday were from a loving Heavenly Father who answered a prayer.
So today I jumped right in. Last year I discoverd a tiny little seed called Amaranth. For it to be consumed it has to be popped. You'll need a tall pot. I still get popped amaranth everywhere even with mine, but that's what makes it so fun! Place the the pot on the stove on medium high heat, but not super hot cuz you'll end up scortching the seeds. I add just a tablespoon at a time. You don't add anything to the pot except the seeds themselves. In a few seconds the seeds start to pop. You want to constantly be moving the pot around to ensure optimum popping. The seeds pop just like popcorn. In fact my kids just eat the seeds like popcorn.
I've added popped amaranth to muffins, breads, even rice crispy treats.
This is the size of pot I used.
Amaranth
This is what Amaranth looks like unpopped.
Popped Amaranth
This is what it looks like Popped.
With my popped amaranth I made a quick bread. Zucchini, Carrot and Amaranth, I'll call it.
preheat oven to 300. And yes, this recipe is my own, I just pulled it out of my cooking sorceress head this morning.
Cream together
1/4 cup butter, it needs to be at room temperature
1/4 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup apple butter, again at room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar
Then add
2eggs
1 zuchinni grated
1 yellow squash grated
1 carrot grated
1/3 cup ground flax seed
1 cup popped amaranth
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup butterscotch chips
Grease and flour 2 bread pans and divide the dough evening between the two. Just for fun, and added crunch, I sprinkled Kashi Go-lean Crunch on top. I baked both loaves for about 45 minutes. I would let the loaves of bread cool completely. I tried cutting into as it came out of the oven and it was so moist it just fell apart. So be patient, and wait till it cools.
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