This morning most of my kids were up when I got ready to go for my walk. All but two of them joined me. I always think it's going to be a good idea and a lot of fun. Then I quickly remember why it is that I go on walks by myself. "My side hurts!", " Are we almost done?", " I'm thirsty", "I'm tired", and relentless teasing between the two year old and 6 year old. Sheesh man, I was done too. It only takes one time to remind myself why it is that I go on my own, especially when I go for exercise. When it's casual, that's a whole other game.
I am a gleek. What's a gleek you ask? Someone who loves to watch Glee. I love love love that show. This past week was all about being in a funk and how to get out of your funk. I find myself in a funk quite frequently. I think most of my life is spent in a funk and trying to find ways to get out of it.
I've been reflecting a lot lately on my life as a mother and thinking back through the years. What was I focused on, what did I struggle with, how did I overcome. Well, in my time as a Mother I've been in and out of a huge funk. Obsessed with my weight. Not being able to lose weight. Losing a little bit of weight, and find that funk again. What have I been doing to myself for the past 12 years? I don't think I've allowed myself to really live my life without worrying about the next meal or if I'm going to fail at eating every day. What a miserable existence.
When is my funk going to end so that I can truly start living life to the fullest? When am I going to stop worrying about each meal, sabotaging, dieting, that perfect number or size? When you've been worrying about those things for over 12 years it's hard not to. It's like a bad habit, it's so hard to break.
In essence, today was a good day. Inspite of the 3pm munchies in which I downed 2 banana muffins, I did really well. I still need to find ways around that munch time and make good choices. I also need to stop munching while fixing dinner. Another bad habit that needs breaking.
I really feel like I'm failing at this 100 good days. I need to remind myself that it's not to lose weight. I'm doing it to encourage a healthy lifestyle. I'm doing it now to help me get out of my funk. Which I'm currently in right now.
1 comment:
Your NOT failing at your 100 good days. Think of the good days that you have had and overlook the bad ones and keep going. You are an amazing person and mother and you need to give yourself more credit. We all have bad days and I believe we are all entitled to have some, we just need to rebound and put a strong foot forward and keep going.
Cory had Youth Conference this past week and the theme was "Finishers Wanted". I think that theme speaks so much. Heavenly Father is with us through everything and if it is something that is important to you, then it is important to Him and He will help you finish, if you just turn to Him.
Love ya tons!
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