Last night I felt a major sense of entitlement. I was having a great day! I was eating right, even when I got super hungry. I made sure I ate just to calm my pains and calmly waited for the next meal. Then all hell broke lose after dinner. I have been trying so ding dang hard to keep my temper with my kids. I've been doing a somewhat decent job. I forget how hard the first few weeks of summer are, trying to figure out new schedules and things. The husband did his part in the kitchen which I am grateful for. Then he retreated to the dungeon to do find some releif on the xbox. That left me battling it out with the kids to make sure they got their chores done. That's when the anger began to build. I struggle with the kids ALL DAY LONG. I feel like I should be the one getting some relief, espcially in the summer time! I understand that he works hard. But gosh darn it, so do I.
The husband and son went off to scouts and I couldn't wait to put the other children to bed. Cause as soon as they were in bed, I scooped myself a bowl of ice cream and watched Glee! And cried. That's all I could think about until they wen to bed. I realize that most of my problem is communication. If I'd just let the husband know I needed more help I think he'd give it to me. Maybe.
But because of my indulgence and sense of entitlement, I feel major guilt. But I'm not going to quit. Because quitting is not the name of the game. The name of the game is knowledge. Finding out what drives me to eat, recognizing it and then fixing it. This time it was the husband that drove me to eat, not the kids. ** Light Bulb ** I have a major fear of confrontation, especially with the husband. I have a very hard time making sure that my feelings are heard and respected. I have come a long way in the past 4 years. But I still need to learn to communicate.
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