Going on a Prayer

So I barely survived the weekend. I had a great time eating out with Brent. Again, I didn't over eat, I stopped when my tummy was somewhat full. I indulged in some fried ice cream, mainly due to my disappointment, and cause it was my birthday. And I still had my free day on Sunday. I knew that if I didn't I would have crashed and burned this week. It is this type of weekend that would have shot me right back into my terrible eating habits. Thoughts of failure and what's the use and so on and so forth would overcome my will to be and do good.

But I am so afraid of failing again. Letting myself down once again because I just wasn't strong enough. I know that I can't do this on my own. I'm just not strong enough. I found myself once again on my knees praying for help, guidance, strength and courage to keep going. Yes, I had a terrible weekend eating. But we all have bad weeks. It happens. I'm human. I wanted to enjoy my birthday so I did. Now I have to suffer the consequences.

Today I'm picking myself back up, dusting myself off and moving forward. What else can I do? Nothing, but persevere and work even harder.

My goals for this week are to keep counting my calories. But I'm not going to freak out about the calories either. If I'm under 1200 calories, great, I did my job. I have my free days to balance that out so I wont go into starvation mode. I'm going to drink more water, which is key to continued weight loss. I will continue to mark off the boxes at the bottom of my exercise journal. Most important I am going to stay positive, keep going, and look ahead. Keep visualizing myself a thinner me. It's going to happen, it has too.


breakfast:
mint protein shake made with 1/2cup milk, 1/2cup water (167)

snack:
no snack

lunch:
turkey bacon and bell pepper sandwich on
home made whole wheat bread(285)

snack:
1/2 apple (20)
2 tsp peanut butter(60)
1 cheese stick(80)(588 left for the day))

dinner:
3 oz chicken breast
1/2 bell pepper and 1/2 onion sauted (301)
2 tsp light sour cream(40)
1 tablespoon salsa(20)

grand total: 973

had a few almonds as well today. Brings my total calories up to at least 1050.