Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Never Ending Story

As I was working out this morning I felt like my weight loss journey is never going to end. That my struggle to reach my goal, will always be an eternal struggle. I feel like I am never meant to lose this weight, that my whole life is meant to be on this path, and that I wont lose this weight. I look at myself in the mirror and see how much I have to lose around my middle. How dangerous that belly fat is to me, and my organs. And I think to myself, will I ever reach my goal? I want to so badly.

Melissa told me that I have to lose 1.5lbs a week. Those small numbers will add up to big ones. I know this, cause I did just a few short months ago. Which is so manageable and doable. I just have to eat the right about of calories and burn enough each day. A simple equation that alludes me most days. In addition to that Melissa encouraged me to burn at least 500 calories a day. To achieve this goal I will need to work out at least twice a day.

My mind is getting in the way. It always does. Now on to the mind games and telling myself that I am strong enough to keep going. To keep trying. That my goal is attainable. I've already lost 22lbs, I can lose 20 more!!! It's just numbers.

I have the power!!!

That got me over my urge to splurge!!! Since I can't get out and job, I think I'll do some Tae-Bo.

breakfast:
1 cup cottage cheese(180)
4 strawberries(40)
1 graham cracker(65)

lunch:
lean pocket(270)
1/4 cup grapes (30)

snack:
protein bar(270)

dinner:
1 slice whole wheat bread(90)
3 tsp peanut butter(90)
2 tsp jam(60)
slice cantelope(20)

snack:
1/4 trail mix(130)

total calories: 1245

exercise: lifting weights, lower body
duration:60 freaking minutes, thanks Melissa
calories burned: 481

exercise:wii active
duration:30 minutes
calories burned: 155

total calories burned: 636


okay, so this wasn't a great day eating. At least I kept my calories low and I didn't indulge in anything too sweet. The sweets are what kill me. And the 2 o'clock feeding is what kills me too!!
I was crazy busy with my schedule which was nice. It kept me out of the kitchen and my mind off of food. There are bonuses to being busy.

My sweet husband bought me the wii active game. I tried it out this evening and it was pretty fun. I think the punching was my favorite. I look forward to doing this again tomorrow. It has a journal which you can keep track of how many healthy meals you eat, how many servings of veggies and how many glasses of water you drink a day. I didn't do to well with the veggies or the water. Something else to add to my list of things to improve upon.

All in all, a good day. Hopefully this story will have an ending.

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