As I woke up and weighed myself this morning I was up a pound. I just hadn't started my visualization strategy yet, and I new deep down that my weigh in wasn't going to be good. My heart was heavy and so was the rest of me. When am I going to wake up in the morning and not feel heavy. And not just in my heart heavy, but physically heavy. I feel as though I stomp across the floor with the weight of a giant. When will my jogs get easier and my steps be lighter. When will my runs be enjoyable instead of a drudgery. I hate to think of my runs as drudgeries right now, but when I feel so heavy they are.
My eating was so so today. The evening was terrible. Hunger raged inside of me and I just couldn't make rash decisions. Finally I stopped myself from eating the chocolate animal crackers and make myself a protien shake. About 20 minutes later, the magic number, I felt full. But not until I had consumed a handful of animal crackers and several wheat thins. My strategy for eating fewer calories back fired on me. I need to be smarter and eat more frequently and more balanced with good quality protein and carb. Ugh. When will I learn.
breakfast:
oatmeal pancake
lunch:
openface pbj
1 cup cabbage soup
60 calorie pudding
snack:
open face pbj
grapes
snack:
wheat thins
dinner:
bq chicken on whole wheat roll
1/2 cup beans
snack:
animal crackers
protein shake
I'm too tired to figure out the calorie intake. It's probably like 1600 or more.
exercise: jogging
duration: 45 minutes
calories burned: 400
4 comments:
Do you know I love your blog? It really helps me to feel that I am not alone in my journey. And I am sorry you struggle, we all do. It's funny that we seem to be going thru the same things. I was spot on in my calories yesterday, had worked out hard at my 6am workout, made healthy/quality food choices until...Dave came home with left-over lemon cake that he had brought for his work bbq. I couldn't resist. I started out with a sliver, then another, then nicklaus didn't finish his so I did. UGH! I prob had 500 calories in the span of 20 minutes! Then I felt guilty about it all night. Such a rollercoaster. Anyway, I share this so you know you aren't alone. And I wanted to tell you how much your blog inspires me. Keep it up, changes will come.
Amberlyn, have you considered not allowing any snacky/junk food in the house? The kids may suffer but they could also learn to snack on the same healthy foods you eat. I had a friend who kept nothing sweet in the house to absolutely avoid temptation.
I love to run also. Nice blog.
Amberlyn I can totally relate to you on this journey. I am so grossed out by myself but I also am finding that it is a minute to minute process. Not day to day if I look at it that way I fail. Last week I lost two pounds whoot whoot! A couple of things I did have helped me. One, I took a picture of my fat self and put it right on the fridge so I have to look at it every time I am tempted. Yes it really works. Two I did stop buying treats all together because I eat them if I have them. If I do buy the kids a treat it is just a candy bar that they have to share or something like that so I dont have a chance to eat it. Two pounds down about thirty to go, UGH!
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