So I have another confession to make. I haven't been completely honest with my food log. Remember those almond clusters that I bought at Sam's Club. I thought they would be a good snack. Until I read the label and realized that 5 small squares have 160 calories in them. I kind of dis-regarded that and eat a few after lunch and a few after dinner. Well, they are all gone, my kids and hubby finished them off last night. Hopefully, next week will be better.
I haven't stopped eating after dinner. I have been getting so hungry. I haven't been gorging myself. Just a few grapes here, a cracker there, a nibble of a banana there. I need to find a solution to this problem. At least I haven't full on brought out the ice cream again. Gosh dang it, that would be BAD!!! I think what I need to do is make some sugar free jello and get some low-calorie cool whip. That would be helpful.
I am still weighing myself mid-week, okay maybe 3 times a week. And it is playing such emotional games on me. Like today for instance. I just KNEW I would be down. I have to be down. I have worked out twice a day and have been eating the right amount of calories. And it's been guaranteed that if you eat less and move more you will lose weight. Yeah, right, who are they kidding???!!! Bunch of liers!!! I haven't lost any weight this week. According to Wii Fit I actually gained 1.5lbs. And forget this whole muscle weighs more then fat crap. I know that to me true. But the numbers are what are important. Yes, yes, yes, everyone tells you otherwise. I was thinking this morning why the numbers are so ding dang important to me. Because the "specialists" and "nutrientist" say you have to be within a certain number for your height and weight to be healthy. But they don't know me. They dont' know my body make up. How much my bones weigh, how much muscle I have compared to fat. It just seems like an imperfect system. So why am I focusing on the numbers? Because I've been told to. My BMI tells me I'm obese!!! OBESE!!!!!
After stepping off that scale I wanted to crawl into bed, cry and stay there for the rest of the day. But what good would that do? I have to look back at what my body has done over the last 2.5 months. I really don't have consitant weight loss. It goes up and down and up and down. I have never been down, down ,down. I need to buck up and realize that my body does some funky things. There is NO reason to quit. No reason at all. I'm doing this for more reasons then the numbers. Plus, it's only been 2.5 months. Wake up Amberlyn and feel the sunshine!!! If I stick with this for 2.5 more months I could possibly be down another 16lbs which would be a total of 32lbs. Which is what I want. Stop sulking and get moving!!!!
It is discouraging to have such slow weight loss and so many ups and downs. Especially when you work out so DING DANG HARD!!!! It just doesn't seem fair to someone so committed as I am. So unfair.
Just take a deep breath.
Remember is about the process. Right now I am learning to not let the numbers get me down so easily. Look at the brighter sides, the larger picture. My clothes are fitting great. I am wearing shirts I haven't been able to wear in years. That is a good thing. Those are the tangible things I need to be searching for.
I reverted back to my old self today. Instead of reaching for something good and healthy, I reached for the m&m's. I just let my appointment get to me. I think I had some sweet and salty chex mix as well.
Just another U-turn that I need to take. Blech. I think I'll go for a walk.
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