That's motivation

There are two types of motivation, for me at least. Negative motivation, like when you step on the scale after a really long time and see that red number blinking at you that you'd never thought you'd see. But there it is, flashing it's big red face. At that moment you think you are about to faint or fall on the floor in the fetal position and begin crying. Abort the fetal position and do something. That's the negative motivation I felt in the beginning.

Last night I discovered positive motivation. Since the scale had read low yesterday I decided to try on a few pairs of pants, okay a lot of pairs of pants. And to my utter delight most of the pants that I couldn't fit or barely fit into a few weeks ago fit perfectly. And some of the pants that I wore last year are getting to big. HALLELUJAH it's working!!!

I've also had to learn to judge my weight loss in different areas of my body. I have been gaging my whole success on my gut. It reminds me of my daughter's recent birthday. The whole success of that birthday hung on the balance of the right fitting shoes. Never mind that her mom, me, threw her a kick butt party, or that she got a ton-o-clothes for her birthday, or that her mom, me, took her out to lunch and to Target to get a whole new outfit. Never mind all those other great things, all that matter was the shoes. That's what I've been doing. Focusing too much on my gut when there are other parts of my body showing improvement. Take my back for instance. When I was checking myself out in the mirror the other day I noticed that my back fat has greatly decreased. Hello, that is great. I think my arms might be getting a little smaller too. Thanks to good old fashion push ups. Yikes, I know, push ups are scary but they work. I've had to train myself to focus on me as a whole, not just my gut. And my gut has been through a lot. Stretching 5 times for babies, one of those times being for twins. And twice being cut open. It will take time to get my stomach back to some what normalcy. I know it will never be what it use to be. And that's okay with me. The extra skin just reminds me of the sacrifice that I went through to get my babies here and what miracles each of them were.

Life is good. Yes, it is still a daily battle. But I feel good, I know I am making progress and nothing feels better then success. I also accept the fact that I will probably fall on my face a few more or a lot more times before I reach my ultimate goal. And that's okay.

breakfast:

protein bar

snack:

1 whole wheat bread

2 tsp peanut butter

lunch:

half a carne asada burrito

dinner:
home made chili

I decided to start logging my exercise as well. I need to start seeing all the positive things that I am doing as well.

Exercise: Walking

Duration: 60 minutes

Distance: 3 miles, up and down the hill to the riverbottoms 3 times.