In my studying of the 2007 General Conference Ensign I had a light bulb moment. I realized that one of my purposes to come to this earth was to be a mother. You might think, duh Amberlyn that's kind of obvious. But I came to realize that I have been fighting this, hoping that I had a greater calling. This is what I wrote down:
I should embrace this calling and stop fighting it. The sooner I embrace this, the sonner I can be happy. The phrase, " Just being a mother" seems to put this honored calling down. I'm not JUST a mother. I AM AN HONORED MOTHER, with unique talents and abilities given to me to raise these specific children. I need to recognize and polish these talents so I can further bless the lives of my children.
This may seem so simple, but for me it was huge. I don't think I've truly embraced my calling as a mother. That I can influence my children so much. I haven't been happy as a mother. Which is such a sad realization. The sooner I embrace my calling as a mother, the sooner I can be truly happy. This to me, is extremely powerful, and an answer to pray.
4 comments:
I am glad that you are finding answers in the Ensign.
It has helped me so much!
Good point- I'm glad you made that discovery!
I love it when things just click... and don't feel guilty. Timing is everything.
I read all your other posts but it was easier just to comment again here- I should have started at the bottom.
You are doing great- I'm glad you have the blog to write your thoughts- this way they don't stay inside your head and self-destruct.
I'm glad Denise is a constant blogger to give you that support. And you know you can call me anytime.
Keep up the good work- you are doing so good... even great!
I am happy for you to have realized that perhaps motherhood hasn't been easy for you or has not been a source of regular joy. I think you are doing a great job and the fact that you want to do better and to capture the moment--starting NOW means that you are a good mother and a wonderful woman. You are an extraordinary sister and as a recipient of your constant love, support,and encouragement makes me think that your kids are very lucky to get that every day from you.
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