So this morning despite my post yesterday, I stepped on the scale, and then again an hour later. Hoping by some miracle that it would have changed. But both times, the news was bad and worse. The scale told me that I haven't lost one stinking pound this week. NOT ONE!!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!! To say the least, I am so disappointed today and very discouraged. I haven't jumped off the train yet. I almost did though. I went into the pantry and pulled out the chocolate chips and began to unwrap it. But I put it back. I am at that point where I'm ready to throw my hands up and give it all up. Really, what's the freaking point of it all. I do so good eating and exercising and NOTHING!!!! I have cut all the other crap out of my life for what? NOTHING!!!! I just think to myself that I am just not suppose to be thin. It's not in my cards, according to the stars, it's my fate to be fat. Is that really true though? I sure hope it's not. That's why I'm not going to give up so easily this time. I would like to. I would like to dive right into the chocolate chips that are waiting for me tomorrow.
I looked back at the absolute folder and realized a few things. I am probably eating way too much cheese. I guess I had been subsituting cheese for the chocolate. That's got to stop. I really need to cut out the diet coke as well. I also need to add more veggies. I should probably eat a salad before my meals. But that's a hurdle in its self that I have to over come. The fear of over eating. But a salad is all raw veggies which are mostly water and I can have as much of that as I want. Keep telling myself that. And of course, I probably shouldn't have eaten so much pork. But it's what I had. From now on I will make much better protein choices.
Losing weight is a tough. Losing weight is a huge emotional roller coaster. Losing weight is maddening. Losing weight is unfair. Losing weight sucks.
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